In today’s world inundated with technology, where the pace of life is getting faster and faster and stress seems like an inevitability, it’s important to remember to set some time aside to nurture our connections with special people in our lives—our spouses. To that effect, here are six habits to be mindful of that could lead to divorce, as well as some suggestions on how to prevent them from getting out of hand.
1. Leaving Conflicts Unresolved
It can happen to the best of us: you have an argument with your spouse, things turn sour, and both of you storm away, fuming. The conflict’s over, but is it really? Arguments that end on a bad note might fester and turn initial feelings of resentment and disagreement into bitterness.
This could last a long time if neither of you take steps to work your feelings out with each other and make amends. Of course, we might all need time to cool our heads and gather our thoughts so we can better put our feelings to words—just make sure your partner understands how much you care about and respect them even if you can’t seem to find agreement on something.
2. Always Needing to Be “Right”
While we might all have our opinions on how things “should be,” sometimes our ideas might not mesh well with those close to us. Unless your partner is a carbon copy of you (figuratively speaking), a disagreement in opinion is likely to happen sooner or later.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as we can learn more about how others see things and maybe even enrich our own understandings through receiving different or even opposing viewpoints. It’s when we’re so attached to our ideas that we put them before our relationships that trouble starts brewing.
Sometimes, it might be a good idea to just take a step back and consider whether something should be said. If you feel that pressing the issue might do more harm than good, it’s probably better to drop the argument.
3. Picking at Flaws
When you fell in love with your significant other, chances are you didn’t decide to marry them for their flaws. You might have been head over heels in love with them at the time and they might have seemed like the “perfect person.”
Now that the honeymoon phase has come and gone, you might start noticing some things about your partner that aren’t so flattering. At times like these, remind yourself of the things that drew you to want to spend the rest of your life with them in the first place. It could be something as simple as the sincerity of their smile or their sense of humor.
Focus more on the positives and the negatives might not seem so large. As the saying goes, “No one’s perfect,” and a little bit of appreciation for your partner’s better qualities are sure to go a long way.
4. Addiction to Technology
With technology connecting people all over the world and the advent of smartphones, anything from browsing emails, social media, or just general entertainment watching videos and playing games is literally at people’s fingertips. However, the more time we spend looking at our phones, the less time we have for real face-to-face interactions.
Don’t let your phone replace your real-life interactions or cause you to ignore your family; whatever you’re doing on the phone can probably be paused or resumed later, but the time you don’t spend with your loved ones can’t be regained once it’s lost.
5. Taking Each Other for Granted
Remember when your spouse did something nice you weren’t expecting and it made you really happy? Have these same things seemingly become ordinary, mundane occurrences?
What would it be like if all those little things your partner did for you no longer happened? It’s not surprising that we’ll get used to something after having it repeated enough times, but that doesn’t necessarily diminish the value of these little, everyday things you do for each other. Treasure the time you have with that special someone, and never take anything for granted.
6. Not Making Time for Each Other
If you live a fast-paced lifestyle or work in a high-stress environment, it’s easy to just come home exhausted and then want to tune the world out. Sadly, this might leave little time for you to connect with your special someone each day.
Before you know it, the week’s flown by and you’ve both hardly said anything to each other. No matter how busy your life may be, it’s important to remember to connect with your significant other. It’s even better if you can support each other or maybe even do something fun together as a way of maintaining your relationship and unwinding after the workday.
It’s almost guaranteed that there will be conflicts every so often in day-to-day life, but by taking the time to appreciate, respect, and consider each other, our relationships with those dearest to us and the health of our families—arguably some of the most important things in society—shall endure.