Back Off: Surviving and Combating Stalking and Cyberstalking

May 22, 2019 Updated: May 22, 2019

Even if a woman is able to escape an abusive relationship, the abuser can still follow, stalk, and intimidate them. This woman barely escaped with her life, and now she’s dedicated her career to helping other survivors.

Alexis Moore of Sacramento, California was 33 years old when she woke up on the floor of her house. It was 2004, and she had been in an abusive relationship for years.

As she awoke she heard the words “I think I killed her,” come from her partner’s mouth. Amazingly, Moore was able to get to her feet and reach her car.

As she backed the car out of her garage, her partner’s hands were still wrapped around her neck through the driver’s side of the car. Moore narrowly escaped her own murder.

However, this incident would be far from the end of her troubles.

Moore had sustained severe injuries to the left side of her face and body, which left her with permanent nerve damage. And even though she had escaped, her partner would continue to stalk her both physically and electronically.

On the Run

At first, Moore headed to the domestic violence shelter in her area.

“That was the only place I could think to go. I didn’t feel safe going anywhere else because in the past I had already tried to leave many, many times, and it just felt to me like that was the best place for me to go, so that’s where I went,” Moore told The Epoch Times.

Moore’s former partner hired a private investigator to follow her. She knew she was being followed, but couldn’t determine how. Moore also noticed that she was being followed by unfamiliar cars. Her former partner had been renting cars in order to throw her off. It was only after her attorney confronted the investigator that he stopped. However, her stalker continued.

Moore was stalked
Alexis Moore barely escaped with her life. However, her former partner would stalk her for years. (Courtesy of Alexis Moore)

Then the electronic harassment began when he liquidated her bank accounts. He had her social security number, date of birth, and knew where she banked.

“That was my first episode of realizing I was in deep trouble,” Moore said.

Moore was also looking for a place to live at the time, which provided another opportunity for him to follow her.

Utilities and phone were in her name, and he knew her date of birth and social security number, so he was able to monitor all of the incoming and outgoing messages on her phone.

Whether she was going to a job interview or a doctor’s appointment, he was able to determine her location. Furthermore, he was able to access her email.

Evasion

Moore got a restraining order, but she realized she would have to get creative to evade her stalker. She realized that since he was able to access her phone and email, she could use them to make false arrangements to send him in the wrong direction.

“It gave me that golden, precious time to live my life,” Moore said.

In the beginning, Moore was understandably traumatized. However, she was able to take more and more control over time.

Moore tried to receive assistance from law enforcement, but they were less than helpful. In fact, they told her she was “crazy” and to not file any other reports.

Moore was ridiculed by law enforcement
Alexis Moore was initially ridiculed by law enforcement when she tried to seek help. (Courtesy of Alexis Moore)

Moore’s stalker also harassed her at her workplace. In one instance he had called her and described what she was wearing and what folders she was carrying, so she called the police.

Unfortunately, calling the police ultimately led to her being fired two weeks later. Moore spent a long period of time couch surfing and living in her car as she was unemployed and couldn’t afford an apartment.

Fortunately, Moore encountered someone at a chamber of commerce networking event who sympathized with her situation.

He took a chance on her, and gave her a job at his real estate company. Moore subsequently got her real estate and broker’s license as well. Ultimately, she would also pursue higher education.

Fighting Back

Moore obtained her undergraduate degree online because she didn’t want to be at a physical location where her stalker could find her.

“That’s when my whole life really changed,” Moore said.

Furthermore, Moore took self defense classes and began carrying a gun to protect herself. She had finally begun to adjust to what she called her “new normal.”

In January 2006 the internet had become more commonplace, and she began to write a blog about her experience.

Moore was also able to get in touch with a U.S. attorney who was the first person to prosecute a cyberstalking case in Washington state. It was this attorney who inspired Moore to pursue law school.

“It gave me hope that maybe becoming an attorney I could do some good,” Moore said.

Moore is an attorney
Alexis Moore is now a prominent attorney who represents survivors of stalking and cyberstalking. She’s also ardent advocate for policy change. (Courtesy of Alexis Moore)

Moore graduated from law school in March 2016, and passed the bar exam on her first attempt in July 2016. She had also gone to law school online, and only nine percent of online law students pass the bar exam.

Moore has written three books about stalking and cyberstalking, represents survivors, and advocates and works on policy change. She is also often called as an expert witness in stalking and cyberstalking cases.

Notably, Moore worked on a policy change through her non-profit Survivors in Action, which contributed to the creation of Mary’s Law, named after Mary Babb who had been murdered by her stalker in Michigan.

Mary’s Law allows the court to use GPS monitoring in conjunction with a restraining order to determine where and when a stalker violates the order, and allows the survivor to know that the stalker is in their vicinity.

Moore continues to do diligent work, and has a message for survivors of stalking and cyberstalking.

“For anyone reading this, refuse to be scared silent,” Moore said.

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