Your past doesn’t have to determine your future; popular YouTube star Rob Kenney, 58, from Seattle, Washington, is a living example of this.
Through his platform, Kenney offers practical advice that extends from tying ties to jump-starting cars. However, his wisdom and helpful advice are not limited to tools and household fixtures. He also reads storybooks, hosts “Dad chats” about topics such as integrity and attitude, and even offers how-to baking lessons to make cinnamon rolls and lemon bars.
Background
Born in Louisiana, Kenney was the seventh of eight children. His family followed his father’s work, moving from Kansas to Louisiana, and eventually to Seattle, Washington. Life was good for the family during Kenney’s childhood years. However, after moving to Washington, Kenney watched his family disintegrate.His mother, who originally hailed from a big family, coped with feelings of loneliness and anxiety by turning to alcohol to sedate herself, and as a result, she became unable to care for her children. Meanwhile, Kenney’s father gained custody of the kids, and then he, too, began to fade into the background. With the older siblings grown and moved out of the house, Kenney’s father would habitually provide groceries for the younger kids during the week and then just disappear.
“We were kind of fending for ourselves,” Kenney recalled of the time when he was just 12 years old.
Finally, when Kenney was 14, his father came home with the news that he was “done raising kids.” Kenney remembered hearing his father say that the younger kids would either go to foster care or live with their older siblings. That year, Kenney moved in with his newly married 23-year-old brother and his wife, Rick and Karen.
“I was bitter for a long time,” Kenney recalled. Due to his past, he harbored bitterness and frustration toward his parents, which “wasn’t healthy,” for a long time.
In the void Kenney’s father left, Rick selflessly stepped forward and filled the gap, becoming a “hero” in Kenney’s heart. He took responsibility for Kenney’s life in a way that their father hadn’t.
During those important teenage years, Rick and his wife became a “huge influence” on Kenney’s life. They were just “kids themselves,” trying to get started with their own lives and marriage at the young age of 23, but despite that, “they stepped up“ and took him, Kenney said, ”because they thought it was the right thing to do.”
Faith
Perhaps the most profound way that Rick’s influence shaped Kenney’s life was his example of having faith in God. While Kenney would accompany Rick and Karen to the church when he lived there, he said “it really didn’t sink in” for him then. However, later, when Kenney had a wife of his own and a child on the way, he ran into some difficulties and cried out to God.“Then I felt like he answered everything, and that scared me,” Kenney recalled. “God kind of called my bluff, so to speak.”
Raising His Own Family
With the solid rock of his faith beneath him, Kenney raised his two children, Kristine and Kyle. Saddened by the reality that he always had a “superficial relationship” with his own father, Kenney wanted to change things as he became a father. Thus he and his wife worked to build an open relationship with their kids. They prayed with their children at night, pouring their hearts out to God, as their kids listened to them trying to do the best they could. They openly admitted when they made mistakes, asking for forgiveness.“We talked about anything and everything, and I’m willing to admit that I am not perfect, and that’s okay,“ he said. ”It’s okay to not be perfect, you know?”
Kenney shared candidly with his children about his own challenging past and childhood.
“It’s actually therapeutic for me, you know, it’s good to talk about it, because it’s happened,” he said.
Despite having struggled with some really hard experiences, he’s decided to not settle there, but move on with his life.
“I don’t play the victim card, because that’s not a good place to be,” he said.
‘Dad, How Do I?’
During the Covid-19 pandemic and the isolation that ensued, Kenney saw a real need for people to connect with one another, and he luckily had a library of “Dad” wisdom stored up, along with his daughter’s persuasion to start a YouTube channel for “advice.”“My daughter kept bothering me to do it,” he recollected. “I ran out of excuses, and so, I finally had my first upload on April 2 of 2020.”
The first video was simple and featured Kenney facing the camera, with eyes that smile behind his rimmed glasses. He taught viewers how to tie a necktie, complete with matching the shirt and tips to avoid looking “dorky.”
https://youtu.be/TATblk1LUQI
“I know that that’s been a struggle for people that don’t have a dad,” he said.
His production, which is low on bells and whistles, is a compilation of simple recordings made on his phone camera. No makeup, and no fancy equipment, but just like a simple conversation with Dad.
“I’m just trying to be myself and trying to communicate like I would be talking to my own kids,” he said.
Originally, he thought his YouTube channel would help “maybe 30 or 40 people,” but he and his family watched in surprise as the number of subscribers climbed, from 300 to 1,000, and now it’s up to 4 million people.
His “dad-vice” resonates with people, offering a father’s voice to those who miss their own father, never knew one, or simply want to learn how to do something that a dad would know.
His impact has been so profound around the world that he’s even had people contact him and ask him to adopt them. While Kenney said he’s not in the position to adopt, he hopes his efforts will continue to serve others all over the world. He looks forward to hearing from people who’ve been encouraged by his videos, and who’ve stepped forward to try things they were afraid to attempt before.
“I’m so grateful for the fact that I’m able to help people,” he shared.
The process of teaching and sharing has also put Kenney in a student’s seat, because he considers himself an introvert. He said he’s been forced to grow from recent public appearances and interviews, some with famous personalities such as Kevin Hart or Lester Holt. Situations like these have required him to battle his nervousness and his tendency toward introversion. The experiences have given him an opportunity to develop himself, and he definitely enjoys it.
The Book
When Kenney turned 50, he saw reaching the milestone as an opportunity to acknowledge his family, who'd fallen apart during his youth. He wanted to honor his siblings for the things they taught him; so, he decided to write a book. As it turns out, the book has influenced his YouTube channel significantly.In his book, Kenney highlights each of his seven siblings and an honorable character trait that they each exhibited. His brother Tim taught him to have a backbone; Rick on the other hand taught him to have a good work ethic. His sister Lauria encouraged others; Joe taught him action without hesitation, and another sibling taught him generosity.
So, while his book “Dad, How do I?” is listed in the DIY category on Amazon, Kenney said, “you’re actually learning about my family, a little bit about my background, and then I’m also trying to pass along some good character traits that I think everybody could learn from.”
Kenney’s goals for his book reflect those he has for his YouTube channel: “I didn’t want it to be only how-tos. I want it to be about making people better people, you know?”
Advice for Parents
In raising children effectively, Kenney shared a piece of advice, encouraging parents to write a mission statement. He explained that, like a business plan, a mission statement sets out what parents want to accomplish as a family, and then they can go back to it, remembering or fine-tuning goals as the family grows.“I think it’s important to write that down, write down the promises that you’re committing to, to keep you on track so that you don’t get away from it,” he said.
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For Kenney and his wife, one of their goals was to raise good adults. They wanted their kids to be independent and reliable, rather than reliant on everyone and everything else.
Forgiveness and Leaving the Past Behind You
Kenney was around 40 years old when he finally shed his bitterness and forgave his father for abandoning the family in Kenney’s most formative years. He and his father were able to mend their broken relationship before his father passed away.“I had already forgiven him, and then he finally actually came around and asked me for forgiveness. But by that time, he was 86,” Kenney recalled.
Kenney’s challenges have helped him to have empathy for the pain of others who have been wronged. He reads comments on his channel about the “tough stuff” people have been through, and he said that his heart breaks for what people endure, and yet, he knows that living in the past is futile.
“You kind of waste your life, right? Years go by and you’re missing out on opportunities because something happened to you in the past,” he said. “Bringing the past into the future—it’s not beneficial.”
Thus Kenney hopes to help others forgive, move forward, and take ownership of their own lives, rather than dwell on the things in the rearview mirror.
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