I could tell from the dad’s voice that he was at the end of his tether. He hadn’t slept in eight months and was utterly spent, all the time.
I have been a nanny and parenting consultant all of my professional life and after asking him a few questions, I knew immediately what the problem was.
The dad and his wife had decided to try “attachment parenting” with their newborn son.
What’s most concerning to me about attachment parenting is the thread that runs through each of these practices—sharing beds, feeding on demand, keeping the baby close at all times. It is a philosophy of putting children’s needs above parents’, all the time. Parents are at their best when they’ve taken care of themselves—when they’ve had a decent night’s sleep, when they’ve had a chance to connect with their partner, and when they’ve had the opportunity to move around baby-free.
When parents begin a pattern of meeting their child’s every need at the expense of their own, it sticks. It’s hard to pop out of that mindset when your six-year-old wants another cup of milk even though you’ve just sat down for dinner, or when your 10-year-old is eager to add yet another activity to his schedule that would require you to drive across town at rush hour. I’m not suggesting that parents be selfish or ignore their child’s needs, but rather, a balance.
This article was originally published on www.theatlantic.com. Read the complete article here.
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*Image of “father and his baby“ via Shutterstock
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