Our Emotions Don’t Have to Rule Our Minds

Taking a moment to control your reaction will give you the time to hit pause on the story generating your anger. fizkes/Shutterstock

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Unknown

A few days ago, my wife said something that stirred an immediate flash of anger. Perhaps you can remember being at a similar crossroads? You can:

1. Express your anger. How did that work out for you the last time you did?
2. Stuff your anger and silently rehearse your grievance. Again, your relationship will suffer.
3. Choose a better way.

That day, I chose a better way. In almost the same moment my anger arose, I noticed the story forming in my mind justifying the anger. I realized anger was pre-existing in my mind and the story I was constructing was a made-up narrative designed to help me drop responsibility. In that moment of realization, the anger was gone; not stuffed, gone.