The process of becoming self-aware includes loving ourselves enough to live our dreams and create our own reality. We are “pure love” when we are born, but early conditioning and life experiences cause us to believe we are unlovable—that there is something wrong with us.
The more we work on integrating past experiences and improving our self-esteem, the stronger our self-concept becomes. The more we love ourselves, the more enthusiastic we become about life. We develop the courage to be authentic and true to our ideals.
Accept and Own All Parts of Ourselves
Being true to ourselves, and living our lives authentically, includes recognizing our strengths and weaknesses, our good qualities and faults, our suffering and joy, our fears and courageous acts, etc. These dualities coexist in all of us. Recognizing and accepting them helps us integrate them into the totality of who we are.
Believe in the Ability to Change
Self-awareness means taking an inventory of our personality, behaviors, attitudes, and principles we live our lives by. We have the ability to change any aspect which does not conform to our self-image. We empower ourselves by making the commitment to do so, having patience for our process, and looking at ourselves with the eyes of understanding and love.Make Peace with Traumatic Experiences
The memory of a past traumatic experience may cause us psychological pain or make us feel wounded and scarred. Moving a memory from our direct vision, where we relive it regularly, into our peripheral vision helps us to heal. We know the memory is there, but it no longer has a hold on us. Some wounds cannot be completely healed and may resurface during stressful times. When we release the emotional pain from these experiences, space in our psyche is freed up for vitality and joy.Identify Needs, Ensure They Are Met
Establish Boundaries
Individuals who establish physical and emotional boundaries respect themselves. A sense of self requires physical boundaries to protect our bodies and emotional boundaries to indicate where our emotions end and others’ begin. Emotional boundaries are necessary to separate our feelings from those of others. Without strong boundaries, we have trouble saying no, and we lose touch with our needs and wants. Setting boundaries empowers us to decide what we are willing to put up with. And in so doing, we teach others how to treat us.Engage in Supportive Relationships
Our external environment reflects our inner world. If we want to assess our sense of self, we can look to our outer reality. Are we surrounding ourselves with angry, disrespectful, and critical people who are toxic and drain our energy? People cannot take advantage of us without our permission. The better we feel about ourselves, the more we engage in relationships with people who treat us with kindness and respect. We feel worthy and deserving of this type of treatment, and we will not put up with disrespectful behaviors.Give Up the Need for Approval
Create a Positive Living Environment
Our external environment is also a reflection of our inner process. A messy living environment (home, workplace, or car) may be a reflection of the inner chaos of our psyche. As we get in touch with unresolved issues, bring them to our consciousness, and heal them, our external environment will become more organized.Clutter affects our health by blocking energy in our bodies and minds. People often comment on how much lighter they feel when they give away clothes they no longer wear, or pass on outdated magazines to others.
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