De-Stressing Your Marriage

De-Stressing Your Marriage
Setting out to repair a marriage may mean listening more deeply to your partner and understanding their fears, needs, hopes, and priorities. Joanna Nix-Walkup/Unsplash
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Each day, approximately 2,000 marriages in the United States end in divorce. The top reasons for marital splits include constant fighting and infidelity. But these problems don’t appear out of nowhere. They often start with a breakdown in communication. Fights, affairs, and eventual divorce are frequently the results of this breakdown. Fortunately, communication problems can be prevented. Even marriages that seem doomed now can be revitalized by using a few simple concepts and skills.

Communication Over Conflict

You’ve probably heard that healthy communication is the key to a lasting marriage. Most married couples would probably agree with that idea. Unfortunately, not everyone’s notion of healthy communication is the same. We all come from different life experiences. That means it can be difficult to get on the same page about any given aspect of the relationship. And it’s easy to fall into the trap of leaning on unhealthy communication skills we may have learned. A common example might be passive-aggressive behavior. We may have picked up this problematic skill growing up in an unhealthy household.

Healthy communication is direct, respectful, and clear. It happens when both people in a marriage are striving to resolve whatever issue is affecting themselves and their spouse. They aren’t concerned with being “right,” or making their spouse look foolish. Communicating in a healthy way doesn’t mean total agreement on everything: what color to paint the house, how many children to have, etc. It just means that you and your spouse are clear on where you stand on a particular topic. Then you can work together on how to move forward.

Tenesha L. Curtis
Tenesha L. Curtis
Author
Tenesha L. Curtis is formally trained as a psychotherapist specializing in addictions counseling. She was born and raised in Louisville, Kentucky before moving to her current home just outside Atlanta, Georgia. She is the publishing manager at Volo Press Books. Connect with her online at TeneshaLCurtis.com.
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