“I just get so angry when he says he will call and then doesn’t,” says Ellen about her boyfriend.
Her empathic friend might respond: “Yes, I can see how that would make you angry. I’m guessing underneath that you feel hurt.”
Whether Ellen agrees or disagrees, important communication occurs. She might learn something useful about her emotions, and the friend might learn something about Ellen.
Empathy is an interpersonal skill that can be viewed as part of emotional intelligence. Psychotherapist Carl Rogers wrote that empathy could enhance relationships and recommended it for ordinary people and therapists.
Studies support its value. Health professionals who show high levels of empathy tend to get better adherence to treatment from their patients and better patient outcomes. And beyond health care, empathy is associated with better personal relationships and more successful social behaviour.
