Dear Kathy,
I feel completely overwhelmed by my life. I live with my father, who has dementia. I have an aide with him weekdays so I can go to work. I’m with him 24/7 the rest of the time. My brother lives out of state and my sister, who lives in the neighborhood, is “too busy” to do more than come over for a couple of hours every now and then. I’m single, so I’m the one who does everything for him - taking him to his doctors appointments, making his meals, doing his laundry, everything.
Work is stressful, my friends are maxed out with their own lives, and taking care of my dad has taken over my whole life. I spend my time in this cramped, cluttered apartment and I’m all alone. I have no husband, no children, no one. It really bites...
Karen
Dear Karen,
Your life cannot continue this way, my dear. This is not a life worth living. I have three suggestions for you to improve things. Firstly, do some research and see if you can find a good senior living facility in your area for your dad, or at least a 7- day a week senior day program for people with dementia. You are burning out as your father’s primary caregiver and you need a break. Your father may benefit from connecting with others in a pleasant atmosphere with planned activities.
Secondly, I suggest that you join a weekly support group for caregivers of elderly parents. You need to create a community of fellow travelers who can validate your experience and support you on your journey. Additionally, others going through the same thing can offer insight as well as share suggestions of what works in their respective situations.
Thirdly, I think that you would benefit from creating a vision board. It’s important that you develop a clear vision for what you want for your life and that you make life choices that move you forward on that path. You deserve love and companionship. No one ought to feel as alone as you do. I wish you all of life’s best. Please let me know how things turn out.
Kathy
