“Nothing will come from nothing.”
So says the king to his daughter Cordelia in the beginning of “King Lear.” When asked to compete with her two sisters by draping the king with accolades of affection, Cordelia, who loves her father most of all, refuses. To the king’s question, “What can you say to draw a third more opulent than your sisters?” Cordelia replies, “Nothing.” She then explains her answer, but the enraged Lear sticks by what he has told her: “Nothing will come from nothing.” He disinherits her and divides his kingdom between her two sisters.
The king’s words are freighted with irony, for a series of disasters follow his “nothing.”
Recently, a good friend and one of my sons both told me that they believed that our country is headed for a train wreck, and sooner rather than later. Many of us who follow the news would likely agree with that viewpoint. The storm clouds are everywhere, and the sun seems but a memory.
But here’s the difference between these two men. My friend, who has no children, feels powerless. As he sees it, the game is nearly over, and he goes on morosely scrolling through the news. My son, who has five young ones, oversees his kids’ education, is active in his church, and is helping his wife to start a Montessori school. He can’t afford despair.
I love both of these men but recognize that in the case of my friend, his passivity, his sense of helplessness, is akin to Lear’s nothing. When we do nothing in the face of hardship or disaster, then all too often, we’re contributing to the train wreck. We’re aiding and abetting the very forces arrayed against us.
Of course, the daily news isn’t the only source for this pathogen of despair. A job lost, a divorce, the death of a spouse, a critically ill child—any of these can leave us feeling helpless, caught up in some inexorable undertow drawing us out into the sea.
Whether it’s the war in the Middle East or credit card debt, the inertia that we’re experiencing may be more the rule than the exception.
To help banish that mood, Ms. Segal offered some good suggestions, such as talking through our mood to a friend or family member, exercising, and practicing meditation. Many other online experts offer similar advice.
It strikes me that taking action offers an even more direct cure for this misery. If you’re downhearted by the trajectory of our nation, do something about it. Vote. Volunteer to help with the campaign of a candidate whom you support. Write to your representatives and senators. Band together with people who share your concerns and make a common cause for change.
These same tactics can be effective on a personal level. If we lose a spouse to death, we can join a grief group, as my sister did. Her sadness remained, but she felt a little less paralyzed by her loss and a little more in control when she got out of the house and looked for some companionship and help.
“Choose one small action that helps make you feel in control, and watch out for all-or-nothing thinking, catastrophizing, and ‘checking out,’” she wrote.
Instead of thinking about what we can’t control, Ms. Bonior noted, we can take one small step that “helps us build the strength to move forward and put some good back into the world.”
To bring good into the world—to our country, our workplace, our family, and our friends—that’s the battle being fought everywhere and every day right now. To arm ourselves for that battle, we must first defeat the enemy within.
