- Q: “What is the difference between socialism and capitalism?”
A: “Capitalism is based on the exploitation of one human being by another human being, but socialism is just the opposite.” - “A Soviet pessimist and a Soviet optimist:
The pessimist says: ‘Russia has become such hell. Everything is so bad it couldn’t become worse.’
The optimist says: ‘It will, it surely will.’” - “Soviet official Leonid Brezhnev was visiting a collective farm. He asked a young girl whether she recognized him. The girl stared at him blankly.
‘Don’t you know me?’ Brezhnev prodded. ‘I’m the one who’s given you everything you have’
The girl cried: ‘Papa! Papa! Uncle Peter is here from America.’” - “Two intellectuals were discussing the destiny of the Soviet Union.
‘What do you think our future will be like in two or three years?’
‘Don’t ask me. I don’t even know what our past will be like in two or three years.’”
BBC writer Wei Wang described a 2023 incident demonstrating the dangers of humor directed at the state: “In mid-May, Chinese stand-up comic Li Haoshi, better known by his stage name House, cracked a joke about his adopted dogs.
“Standing on a stage in a packed venue in Beijing, he said his dogs ‘fought to win, forged exemplary conduct’—a catchphrase that Chinese leader Xi Jinping has used while speaking about the military. It drew laughs from the audience, but one of them later commented on Weibo, or China’s version of X, that it made him uncomfortable because it insulted the ‘people’s army.’
“State media and officials swiftly condemned it as a ’serious insult' to the Chinese army. Li was detained, and the company he worked for—Xiaoguo, one of the most successful stand-up comedy groups in China—was fined nearly 15 million yuan ($2.1 million).”
“The incident has dealt a heavy blow” to China’s stand-up comedy scene, Wei wrote.
Some Chinese call their comedy “dancing with shackles.” In other words, go ahead and dance, just don’t make any wrong moves. Still, this humor directed at Party leaders and officials can act like a valve on a pressure gauge, releasing anger and resentment that might otherwise boil over into more dangerous protests. It also reminds both the comics and their audiences that “the people’s leader” is human, with all the frailties that implies.
American comedians are free to throw a barrage of jabs and punches at political leaders. If they make the wrong moves, they draw only the slings and arrows of public opinion rather than a knock on the door by the police. In addition, the comics who do bash public figures, sometimes with monologues laced with obscenities, usually fly under the banner of conservative or liberal. Audiences know what to expect from a conservative comedian and commentator such as Arynne Wexler or a liberal talk show host such as Jimmy Kimmel.
- “Neighbor: ‘I see your kid is running a lemonade stand.’
Guy next door: ‘Yeah. It’s like the government. Mom subsidizes it with sugar and lemon, and Dad buys the surplus.’” - “Washington is the only place in the world where sound travels faster than light.”
- “A taxpayer is one who doesn’t have to pass a civil service program to work for the government.”
- “Politicians make strange bedfellows, but they soon get used to the same bunk.”
- “It has been said, ‘Some politicians have trouble deciding whether they were born in a log cabin or in a manger.’”
- “The opposite of ‘pro’ is ‘con’—so the opposite of progress is ... Congress.”
- Q: “Why can’t Congress ever be vegan?”
A: “Because all the turkeys playing chicken in a beef over pork is pretty fishy.” - “We don’t approve of political jokes—we’ve seen too many get elected.”
“Almost all the world’s constitutions are documents in which governments tell the people what their privileges are. Our Constitution is a document in which ‘We the People’ tell the government what it is allowed to do. ‘We the People’ are free.”
This summer, while we’re driving that car toward our 250th birthday celebration, let’s remember to bring some humor along for the ride. When we rib or ridicule the government, we remind that car and ourselves that it’s not meant to be a gas-guzzling limo with all the bells and whistles, but a humble family van.
