The Marshmallow Test
Sorbo gives the example of the marshmallow test which was a long-term test used about 50 years ago. Children were sat in a room with a single marshmallow on a plate in front of them. They were told if they waited for the woman who gave them the marshmallow to come back in the room before they ate it, then she would give them two marshmallows. The data showed a correlation between children who could delay their gratification to higher SAT scores and greater success in life. In a follow up study, the children were told that a teacher or a friend would be able to tell how long they waited before eating the marshmallow. Those children showed an ability to wait much longer than the others. This demonstrated that even young children are influenced by what others think of them.Then the host reviews things that children need before they can become independent and leave home.
· How to love and be loved · Role models · Understand the value of money · Learn by earning money and then using it · Process of negotiation · How to cook and clean · How to keep a neat household · How to volunteer their services and help others · How to charge for their services
Definition of Chores
So, what are chores? Chores are not something that a child does for him or herself but rather something that is done for the good of the household. Children should learn the consequences of chores not done or ones that are done poorly. The example that the host gives is taking out the garbage. It not done, then the house starts to stink. Doing these chores and doing them well teaches a child how to contribute to the overall wellbeing of the household and become a valuable member of a functioning unit. The responsibility that children learn doing their chores teaches the following qualities:· Sense of duty · Work ethic · Self-mastery · Perseverance · Self-reliance · Teamwork · Consistency · Self-worth · The sense of service
The child benefits from these as well as the recipient of the service. The host points out that we are so busy trying to make our children’s lives easier, that we do not teach them how to strive or struggle for something, which is a valuable lesson. An example of what happens when the value of hard work is not taught is “trust fund babies” or children of millionaires who grow up and spend all their money and end up with nothing.
A quote by philosopher Lucius Annaeus Seneca states, “I judge you unfortunate because you have never lived through misfortune. You have passed through life without an opponent—no one can ever know what you are capable of, not even you.” The host reminisces about doing chores as a child and stated it taught her and her siblings the value of good hard work, responsibility, and a sense of belonging. She emphasizes the importance of children knowing that they belong. Children love the feeling of being needed and being useful. This is why young children like to mimic the work that they see adults doing.
Sorbo shares another experience from her youth which was cooking breakfast for her family. She would hand out menus and have her family members make their choices and she would then cook breakfast and serve it to them. She stated that it gave her great pleasure doing this and gave her a sense of belonging and contributing to the family. It does take time for children to learn how to properly do their chores, but the time spent teaching them pays off in the future. These tasks will need to be continuously taught because children learn by repetition. Learning the proper way to do things builds their skills bank and helps them be more successful in life. They also need to learn etiquette in speaking with others and how to write a thank you card for gifts that they receive.
The video concludes with the host saying that if you rely on your children to help around the house, it fosters a sense of mutual support and teamwork. She encourages parents to find answers and solutions to problems by watching a youtube video or using other sources and then encourage your children to help. This will empower them and the best way to do that is to take advantage of all of these opportunities.
