‘Nothing I Could Do’: A Mother Recounts How Her Mentally Ill Son Was Given Access to Assisted Suicide

Sharon Danley holds a photo of her son, Matthew, as a boy, at her apartment in Toronto on Sept. 27, 2022. (Peter Wilson/The Epoch Times)

TORONTO—It was just a few weeks before Christmas 2021 when Matthew spoke to his mother, Sharon Danley, about a holiday he wanted to take in New York City. Being on disability and unable to afford to pay for the trip himself, he asked her for some money, Danley says.

She agreed, and just before Matthew left on his trip, they met for coffee in downtown Toronto, where they both lived. An argument arose between them, she says, and Matthew got up and stormed out of the cafe.

“That was the last time I ever saw him,” Danley told The Epoch Times.

Sharon Danley presents several framed photos of her son, Matthew, in her Toronto apartment on Sept. 27, 2022. (Peter Wilson/The Epoch Times)

On Dec. 12, 2021, less than two weeks before Christmas, Matthew, 46, received medical assistance in dying, or MAiD, at his home. He wasn’t terminally ill but had a history of mental illness, Danley says.

Danley adds that since Matthew had several other medical conditions, he was eligible for MAiD.

“There was nothing I could do,” Danley said, recalling the final moments of her son’s life.

Matthew’s aunt, Danley’s younger sister, had told Danley that Matthew didn’t want his mother present at his death. As Danley put it, Matthew had cut her off along with all of his friends who wanted to help him seek real assistance—not death.

Sitting in her apartment just a few blocks away, Danley said she “just kept praying.”

“I hoped that his soul would find some peace,” she said.

It was the only thing she felt she could do for her son as a doctor administered the lethal injection.

Expanding MAiD Legislation

MAiD became legal in Canada in 2016 after the Supreme Court ruled a year earlier that parts of the Criminal Code prohibiting assisted suicide violated the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

The first iteration of Canada’s MAiD laws allowed terminally ill adults with no hope of improvement and a steady decline in health to apply for assisted suicide.

In 2020, the federal government expanded MAiD eligibility by removing the requirement that applicants be terminally ill.

The new legislation said patients must “have a serious illness, disease or disability,” “be in an advanced state of decline that cannot be reversed,” and be undergoing “unbearable physical or mental suffering” in order to be approved for MAiD.

Beginning on March 17, 2023, patients “whose only medical condition is a mental illness” will also be eligible for MAiD.

Statistics Canada has tracked the number of MAiD deaths since its legalization and found that the number of Canadians receiving the procedure has steadily increased every year.

According to Health Canada’s third annual report on MAiD, the total number of medically assisted deaths between 2016 and 2021 was 31,664.

‘It’s a Traumatic Situation’

Danley knew her son wasn’t terminally ill when he applied for MAiD, and that’s why she thought he wouldn’t be approved.

“Both my sister and I were sure that this wouldn’t go through because of his history of mental health,” she said. “Oh, were we wrong.”

Matthew applied for MAiD in the spring of 2021 and was approved about three months later. He suffered from several birth defects all his life, but Danley said multiple surgeries and various medical treatments kept his condition manageable

“I am not for one second trying to diminish the seriousness of [his pain] at all,” she said. “But I’m questioning.”

Danley added that Matthew had at times suffered from suicidal ideation.

“Shouldn’t that be part of the issue?” she said, pondering why the doctors who reviewed his MAiD application did not take this into account. “Shouldn’t that be explored?”

On the day of Matthew’s death, Danley attended church with three friends and afterwards they returned to her apartment and waited for word about Matthew.

“We sat here, we talked about Matthew, and I got a text message that the doctor was there and he was starting to insert, and I just lost it,” she said.

“I just cried, because I wanted to be there to pray for Christ to take his soul. I wanted to be part of that. It was about his soul I was concerned about more than anything. But I was denied that.”

Danley couldn’t fathom that her son’s life was legally taken away from him by a licensed doctor.

“When a loved one is murdered, it’s a traumatic situation,” she said.

A ‘Peaceful Place’

Besides Matthew, Danley also had a daughter named Andrea.

Andrea was two years older than Matthew and suffered from epilepsy. Throughout her life, she experienced random seizures that temporarily paralyzed her, causing her to collapse in place and suffer various injuries from her falls.

A photo of Danley's two children, Andrea and Matthew. (Peter Wilson/The Epoch Times)

In December 2012, Andrea suffered a seizure while taking a bath and, unconscious, sank under the water and drowned.

After Matthew’s death nine years later, Danley was crushed. She lost 63 pounds in 11 months and rarely left the house.

And then one day as she was meditating, she said she was mentally transported to a “peaceful place” where both her children were present.

“They came running across the field. Matthew was a little boy ... and he was at my knees,” she said, adding that he kept saying “Mom” over and over again, calling for her.

“And I thought, ‘Oh, my God, it’s like I’ve had a visitation.’ It’s the little boy in Matthew that I’m concerned about. It’s the little boy in him, that soul in him, is what I wanted to reach.”

Since Matthew’s death, she says coping is all about getting out of bed in the morning and taking action rather than letting the grief consume her.

“What are you going to do? Because there is no past, there is no future, there is just now. What are you going to do with what you’ve got right now?” she said. “How are you going to live to the best of your ability and do what you can to give out to the greater good?”

Danley says she has devoted herself to actively fighting against the legislation that took her son’s life too soon.

“What I have a concern about with MAiD is how many more amendments are coming,” she said, adding that the looser the legislation becomes, the less society values the vulnerable.

“It’s a Trojan horse, and there will be more and more and more stuff coming out of that horse.”