Treka Engleman has faced many challenges along the road to adopting and parenting three children. Since this African-American woman has adopted three white children from foster care, a lot of what she hears is about color.
“What was I thinking?” Engleman utters, trying to imagine what others might be asking of a black woman adopting three white children. “I love these kids and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Treka Engleman had long been interested in fostering children but was never sure it would work, as she was single and without children of her own. With the support of her family, she decided to take the plunge in the summer of 2016.
As part of the certification process to become a foster mom, Engleman attended two months of class in partnership with St. Joseph Orphanage that covered every aspect of the state care system and also left her deeply upset about the plight of the children in it.
“Hearing the stories about some children that go through foster care just brought tears to my eyes and broke my heart,” she explained in her recounting on Love What Matters. Though Engleman herself lost her mother at a young age, she always had the support of the rest of her family. When the time came to mark her preferences for age, she put down children 4 to 5 years old.
When it came to race, however, Engleman left things as open as possible. “Color doesn’t matter to me. Love is love no matter what color you are,” she said. After waiting to be matched, Engleman decided to add newborns and infants to her age range, and soon after, she got the call. She recounted: “On December 8, 2016 Elijah Lee Hill came to my home. My heart just immediately dropped when they brought this tiny little baby into my home.”
The baby boy was just 5 days old.
But Engleman was just getting started. A year later, she received notice about two sisters who needed a foster home. The younger of the two, Alexis, showed up, but the teenager, Mercedes, had been in trouble and was staying in a group home. As the family grew, Engleman found a three-bedroom home for them. Throughout the entire time, Alexis and Mercedes kept in close touch, and Engleman wanted to reunite the sisters.
While the family remained tied firmly at the heart, in the eyes of the law, Engleman’s children were still “fosters.” When she and the kids found out that adoption was a possibility, they all jumped at the chance together. That doesn’t mean that Engleman didn’t pause to think about the consequences. “I often thought to myself, ‘Am I enough? Can I give them what they really need?’” she said.
But with the support of her own family and the enthusiasm of the kids, she never looked back. Whether it was concerns about money, differences in age or race, or being a single parent, “none of that stuff mattered to me!” she wrote. “The way they lit up with excitement when they found out it was happening will forever be one of the best memories.”
“A minivan would be perfect to transport her kids are to school and daycare,” Craddick wrote. “She is a hardworking woman who dedicates her life to her children. She wants to give them the life that they deserve.”
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