HILVERSUM, Netherlands—There is an Italian cartoon figure, called Calimero, who is a small, black chicken with an egg shell on his head who always feels others threat him unfair and mean. His famous line is:
“They are big and I is small and it is really mean!”
Considering the size of our country, it is not surprising that we, the Dutch, suffer from the Calimero complex every now and then.
Lately, German Chancellor Angela Merkel and French President Nicolas Sarkozy have held private meetings to have talks and make agreements about the future of the eurozone (of which we are part as well). At times like these, we, the Dutch, do feel like that little, black chicken. And it is really mean!
The other day, we experienced another one of these Calimero episodes, when Ajax Amsterdam, the proud Dutch team was kicked out of the Union of European Football Associations Champions League, unfairly.
At the onset it seemed almost certain that Ajax, for the first time in years, would survive the group phase of the extremely prestigious and financially lucrative European soccer competition. It is important, not just for Ajax but for Dutch soccer and nation.
Before that tragic night, or glorious, (depends on whether you are French or Dutch) Ajax was second in the group after Real Madrid and the first two teams would make it on to the even more prestigious and lucrative knockout phase.
Ajax was ahead of the French team Olympique Lyon, third in the group, with three points and a goal advantage of +6. With just one more round of play to go, things were looking good.
At 8:45 p.m. Ajax kicked off against Real Madrid in Amsterdam; simultaneously Dynamo Zagreb kicked off against Olympique Lyon in Zagreb, Czech Republic.
It soon became clear that it would not be as easy as hoped for when two perfectly legal Ajax goals in the first half were mysteriously called offside by a greying linesman. And Ajax’s opponent, the mighty Real Madrid from Spain, which buys whomever they can lay their hands on, converted just about any chance they had in a goal. Score: 0-3.
Fair enough, this in itself cannot be called a miracle, teams lose to Real Madrid since they buy all your good players away, and are treated unfairly by sleeping greying linesman all the time.
But what happened simultaneously in Zagreb, in their game against Olympique Lyon, can be called a miracle.
Within a time span of 45 minutes, the French team took a 1-1 halftime score, and scored 6 goals, turning a -6 goal disadvantage into a +2 advantage over poor Ajax. Result: the mighty French and Spanish get through and the Dutch are out. Just like in the old days.
“They are big and I is small and it is really mean!”
Anybody who watches soccer regularly knows that these kinds of scores do not usually occur in soccer on the highest level. It would be similar to Ricky Fowler scoring +35 over par on an easy golf course. Or the L.A Lakers losing to the Golden State Warriors 20-143. It is all possible, but not likely.
After the game, I pulled myself together to watch (a review of) what had happened in Zagreb and actually got to the point that I found it rather comical. For just that moment I forgot the Calimero complex. And found temporary refuge in another national complex: sarcasm.
In Croatia, you could see Zagreb defenders moving as if they were under the influence of some kind of subtropical drugs, severely affecting their balance and speed. While the Zagreb goalie was constantly diving over the ball as if he had trouble distinguishing low from high. Deranged Zagreb players tripped over and stumbled upon invisible objects that were all over the field. It was a tragic sight.
These Lyon attackers, however, seemingly effortlessly passed through the defense, unbothered by invisible objects, scoring one goal after the other. Until they had enough: 1-7. It was as if they were operating in another dimension.
After the umpteenth goals in Croatia, when the ball was fished out of the net, you could see a Zagreb defender making an obvious wink to the Lyon attacker. This picture is all over the Dutch newspaper as proof that we have been had. And surely it is mean.
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