Global Dispatches: Canada—The Beast Encroaches

The white-clad beast is known for its voracious appetite, devouring every leaf on every tree in much of North America.
Global Dispatches: Canada—The Beast Encroaches
(Photos.com)
Matthew Little
10/17/2010
Updated:
10/1/2015

Yeti is coming.

A misunderstood monster, too often blamed for the good it does, this white-clad beast is known for its voracious appetite, devouring every leaf on every tree in much of North America. It’s been blamed for raising a fire in homes across Canada, and mere mention of its name is enough to send a chill down the spine of nearly every man, woman and child that lives here.

But the beast isn’t all bad, and it’s getting old, weary. It’s army of tiny minions once rolled right over homes in some parts of this land, leaving doorways and cars buried under their relentless mass.

<a><img src="https://www.theepochtimes.com/assets/uploads/2015/09/87689624_snow_canada.jpg" alt=" (Photos.com)" title=" (Photos.com)" width="320" class="size-medium wp-image-1813407"/></a>
 (Photos.com)
I remember as a child dressing ourselves in thick armor to fight the beast, but even with layers of protection, vulnerable toes and fingers would still feel its bite. While adults retreated to the safety of indoors, we would carefully choose the high ground of the battlefield and stand ready with wooden shields; building the courage we'd need to race down upon the ogre.

Maybe that is why the beast is so much weaker now. We never retreated; we made a mockery of its ferocious blasts, turning its most vicious traps to our own advantage. If it turned our fishing ponds to stone, we would cut across them with razors on our boots. If it buried our sports fields with its forces, we would crush them into bricks for our fortress and ammunition for our catapults.

We would even, and I shudder to admit this, eat them whole.

Some years now, it seems the beast barely shows itself. The onslaughts of my youth have dulled to skirmishes. Some say the beast is dying, leaving this earth for a time. Others say that its passing heralds the arrival of fiercer monster.

You can see its retreat already.

In my home province of British Columbia, the Yeti used to devour hordes of insects every year. Now that he only makes a half-hearted appearance, those hordes have formed a force of their own and look intent on devouring every pine tree in the province. The Mountain Pine Beetle, have left oceans of evergreens—those brave titans that could withstand nearly any assault the Yeti threw upon them—dead.

In some parts of Canada, the Yeti still rules with ferocity for much of the year. In Whitehorse, the capital city of the Yukon Territory in Canada’s northern reaches, the beast stands unchallenged six months a year. Cars, those dragons of cities around the world, can sit silent for days in fear for their very lives, their mighty roar reduced to a whimper that never lasts for long.

But in these northern climes, the brave forces of humanity have learned to contend.

Like any disaster, facing this monster seems to have brought people together. People there rally together with warmth and openness I’ve seen nowhere else.

I noticed a similar phenomena in Winnipeg, Manitoba where the beast would hurl itself upon these poor folk. But not only did they stand, they would smile in the face of adversity, shining through war with the largest smiles a person could hope for.

Now, as the forces of Canada rally for the assault to come, I am left wondering how much we are losing as we win this war. How much weaker will the sons and daughters of tomorrow be if their skin is never toughened by Yeti’s crystal claws? How much smugger will we be if there is no fear of its bone-chilling roar? How much lonelier if not pushed into community to face of the beast’s hostility.

Oh, Yeti, I should never have cursed you. I forgive you the times you hurled me to the ground with carefully laid traps, and for sabotaging vintage civic after vintage civic. Who even remembers that sleepless night, shivering for terror in the back of my Volkswagen van. And why mention your relentless attempts to apprehend my appendages.

You were a worthy foe, and if it were for me to choose, I would see you back in your prime. May your best still be ahead of you my oft-begrudged friend.