TORONTO—Baby’s freak me out. Not when they’re brand new and wiggle about in a permanent daze. No, I’m okay when they’re still overwhelmed by the world outside the omni-snuggle of the womb. It’s when they start looking around with that all-knowing, unthinking serenity that I get a little fidgety. Like little Buddhas, their eyes contain nothing but clarity, no half-baked ideas, social conditioning, or unfortunate notions tainting their perceptions of the world.
Those eyes that see all by knowing nothing leave me hyper conscious of my every thought and motion. What do all my jokes and surface charms look like to a being that has none of the social perspective I’ve learned to navigate over a lifetime. All my wit counts for naught to one whom I expect puts the highest premium on honest kindness and endless patience.
As my wife and I start pondering bringing our own child into this corner of the world called Canada, I wonder how we can shine upon it the constant warmth that will nurture it to emotional security. Where will we find the time to impart the wisdom it will need to guard its mind against the consumer cacophony of this modern world?
The first year should be a breeze, thanks to ample government-sponsored maternity leave, but what happens later when the time and cost of a little human aren’t being supplemented? I fear watching that pure intelligence be overcome by cartoons in miniskirts and the virtual warfare of video games that have replaced the simple outdoor pleasures of my own youth.{etRelated
The ridiculous part is that for all our excellent jurisprudence and economic prominence, Western society is a molding sponge cake when it comes to the family. We chase personal independence like a rainbow’s roots, replacing filial piety with personal sovereignty. By circumstance or cultural conditioning, we have forced ourselves to choose between money and time, and society too often values successful careers over conscientious children. I sometimes wonder if part of the reason for feminism’s rise is the simple fact that we did not honor the inestimable value of a mother’s love.
While we finance our autonomy to the limit of our income, I sit in silent reflection upon my friends’ simple solution to this modern dilemma: My gangly blond buddy has married a charming Chinese lady and imported her parents from across the globe. While I debate how my wife and I will cut costs and minimize work to give our child the attention and affection it deserves, this happy couple gives their new human two full sets of parents and a household that might seem a little full for Western tastes, but with no shortage of hands to rock the cradle.
My wife and I agree it would be almost unimaginable to bring either of our parents into our home. But what seems impossible to envision for us is a rational reality for my friends. While we wonder where the time and money will come from, their new baby boy basks in the glow of caring attention. His mom and dad maintain their careers and the in-laws find meaning and joy in their retirement years. So simple and profound is this scenario that I wonder what dysfunction has brought the Western world into a spiral of personal debt and televised babysitters.
In Canada now, we are bringing in waves of people from distant lands that understand clearly the true value of family. The interdependence of their multigenerational households creates a resilience that Western independence can’t match. While they work to learn the ways and means of Western society, I deeply hope they can teach us the wisdom and strength that comes from extending the family instead of the credit card.
Those eyes that see all by knowing nothing leave me hyper conscious of my every thought and motion. What do all my jokes and surface charms look like to a being that has none of the social perspective I’ve learned to navigate over a lifetime. All my wit counts for naught to one whom I expect puts the highest premium on honest kindness and endless patience.
As my wife and I start pondering bringing our own child into this corner of the world called Canada, I wonder how we can shine upon it the constant warmth that will nurture it to emotional security. Where will we find the time to impart the wisdom it will need to guard its mind against the consumer cacophony of this modern world?
The first year should be a breeze, thanks to ample government-sponsored maternity leave, but what happens later when the time and cost of a little human aren’t being supplemented? I fear watching that pure intelligence be overcome by cartoons in miniskirts and the virtual warfare of video games that have replaced the simple outdoor pleasures of my own youth.{etRelated
The ridiculous part is that for all our excellent jurisprudence and economic prominence, Western society is a molding sponge cake when it comes to the family. We chase personal independence like a rainbow’s roots, replacing filial piety with personal sovereignty. By circumstance or cultural conditioning, we have forced ourselves to choose between money and time, and society too often values successful careers over conscientious children. I sometimes wonder if part of the reason for feminism’s rise is the simple fact that we did not honor the inestimable value of a mother’s love.
While we finance our autonomy to the limit of our income, I sit in silent reflection upon my friends’ simple solution to this modern dilemma: My gangly blond buddy has married a charming Chinese lady and imported her parents from across the globe. While I debate how my wife and I will cut costs and minimize work to give our child the attention and affection it deserves, this happy couple gives their new human two full sets of parents and a household that might seem a little full for Western tastes, but with no shortage of hands to rock the cradle.
My wife and I agree it would be almost unimaginable to bring either of our parents into our home. But what seems impossible to envision for us is a rational reality for my friends. While we wonder where the time and money will come from, their new baby boy basks in the glow of caring attention. His mom and dad maintain their careers and the in-laws find meaning and joy in their retirement years. So simple and profound is this scenario that I wonder what dysfunction has brought the Western world into a spiral of personal debt and televised babysitters.
In Canada now, we are bringing in waves of people from distant lands that understand clearly the true value of family. The interdependence of their multigenerational households creates a resilience that Western independence can’t match. While they work to learn the ways and means of Western society, I deeply hope they can teach us the wisdom and strength that comes from extending the family instead of the credit card.
