Eva Mendes on the Strict Internet Rules She Imposes on Her Kids

Mendes shares two daughters with actor Ryan Gosling.

Eva Mendes attends Create & Cultivate Los Angeles on Feb. 22, 2020. Phillip Faraone/Getty Images

Eva Mendes doesn’t allow her children to communicate through social media or use a smart phone, and psychologists are commending her for the strict internet policy.

The mother of two daughters told The Sunday Times in an interview published on Oct. 17 that social media and smartphone use are forbidden in her home.

“Putting my kid on the internet and being like, ‘Oh, search something;’ that, to me, is equivalent to telling her, ‘Oh, just go down the street in the middle of the night. You’ll be fine,’” Mendes said.

Mendes’ daughters, Esmeralda Amada and Amada Lee, whom she shares with actor Ryan Gosling, are 10 and eight years old, respectively.

“I know that sounds extreme but that’s what I feel,” she said.

The 50-year-old is known for her role in 58 films, including “Training Day” in 2001 with Denzel Washington, “Hitch” in 2005 with Will Smith, and “The Place Beyond the Pines” in 2012 where she met Gosling.

Currently, the A-list couple live in England where Gosling is filming “Project Hail Mary,” a sci-fi movie about an astronaut. He’s best known for his starring roles in “Barbie” in 2023, “La La Land” in 2016, and “The Notebook” in 2004.

The boundaries Mendes has established for her kids suggest she values their emotional and mental well-being over societal pressures or norms around technology, according to licensed and board certified clinical and forensic psychologist Judy Ho Gavazza.

“It also indicates that she takes an active, mindful approach to parenting, seeking to protect her children from the potential pitfalls of modern technology,” Gavazza told The Epoch Times.

Pitfalls include cyberbullying and addiction to social media.

Tech Addiction

Mendes’s position reflects widespread criticism and lawsuits alleging that Google-owned YouTube and other social media sites have fueled a childhood mental health crisis by deliberately designing addictive features.

Signs of social media addiction include neglecting homework and house chores, preferring online interactions over real-life connections, and losing interest in hobbies or activities previously enjoyed.

“You may suspect your child is addicted to social media if they constantly think or talk about it, show irritability or anxiety when they can’t access it, and need to spend increasing amounts of time online to feel satisfied,” mental health social worker Catherine Ybarra-Ochoa told The Epoch Times.

Ybarra-Ochoa works at Holliday’s Helping Hands in Los Angeles.

Some 24.4 percent of adolescents are addicted to social media, according to the National Library of Medicine.

“Social media activates the brain’s reward system, making it easy for kids to seek validation through likes and comments,” licensed marriage and family therapist Katie Dorn told The Epoch Times.

Dorn, a mom of seven children, is also a co-founder of EmpowerU, a program helping students learn to redirect their focus from feelings of anxiety and depression to building confidence and resilience.

Jorge Argota, a parent and founder of a digital marketing agency, employs a controlled smartphone strategy with his children, which means he enables the built-in parental controls on his child’s iPhone through its Screen Time feature.

“We allow calls and texts but no internet or social media,” Argota told The Epoch Times. “This way, they can communicate but we have boundaries around online activities.”

Genetic Predisposition

Mendes also expressed fear that her daughters would inherit her flaws with behaviours leading to addiction. She reportedly checked herself into a rehab facility in 2008 when struggling with alcohol abuse. She’s now sober.

“I still have all this anxiety and I see myself passing it on to my children,” she said. “Subconsciously, I can imagine what they’re inheriting from me that I don’t want them to inherit from me.”

A National Library of Medicine study found that the heritability of alcoholism is about 50 percent, and that of cocaine and opiate addiction is about 60–70 percent.

Conscious Parenting

Mendes further revealed that she homeschools her daughters and practices conscious parenting, which refers to a style of parenting that minimizes rules in favor of prioritizing the parent-child relationship.

Gavazza said Mendes’s chosen parenting approach is thought to prioritize “the preservation of childhood and allows her children to develop at their own pace, away from the pressures of online comparison.”

Mendes’s approach also allows children to learn how to relate to the world before they relate with the screens, according to father and tech business owner Chris Dukich.

“By practicing conscious parenting, it enhances respect and freedom of expression in both the parents and the children,” Dukich told The Epoch Times. He owns, Display Now, an online platform that bridges technology and communication.

Mendes did not respond to requests for comment.