Dating Bad Boys

January 19, 2014 Updated: April 24, 2016

Dear Kathy,

     I have a problem. I’m dating this great guy, but I’m super attracted to his cousin. My boyfriend treats me really well and he follows through on his commitment to me in every way.

     His cousin is a total bad boy and I know that if I date him, he’ll just break my heart. The chemistry is irresistible, though. I feel like I can’t control it. Why do I keep ditching good guys to date bad boys?


Dear Effie,

     You are clearly insightful about your relationship dynamic and your recognition of the problem is two thirds of the solution. I suggest that you stay away from your boyfriend’s cousin while you work with a psychotherapist to unravel your toxic relationship pattern – choosing hurtful men over and over.

      I encourage you to journal your feelings rather than act on them. I have faith in you to exercise self-control and make a positive choice this go-around. Good luck and let me know how things work out!

All my best,