Veterans: The Storm We Might Be Called to Sail Into Might Be Someone’s Personal Life

Death is hard enough to deal with on its own. When that death is self-induced, the pain is so much worse.
Veterans: The Storm We Might Be Called to Sail Into Might Be Someone’s Personal Life
Mary Davis (U.S. Army
Battlefields Staff
Updated:

EMAIL: Just because some damn fool wants to end his life doesn’t mean I am going to stand idly by and let them do it. If I have to shoot them with a 12 gauge bean bag to knock them back from a ledge then so be it. I may even shoot them a second time after they’re down and safe for good measure. I need to buy a case of those now that I think about it.  —Why you do something is every bit as important as the how and the what. —K. Aud

2016 08 22 Monday

Saving lives is a primary role of the Coast Guard. Normally this conjures thoughts of gale force winds and mountains of water battering a ship at sea while a bright orange and white helicopter dangles a crazy person over its pitching decks in the dead of night (I have the utmost respect for our Aviation Survival Technicians but they are operating with one or two mental breakers tripped). We are called to go against better judgment and drive our boats into the storm knowing that the margin for success is slim to none … all because we heard a static-filled broken “MAYDAY! MAYDAY! MAYDAY!” in the dark.

It never occurred to me that the distress call I should be listening for might not come over a radio speaker. I never stopped to think that the storm we might be called to sail into might be someone’s personal life; that the garbled, static marred, cry for help might be them standing on the railing of a bridge. Everyone has been touched by death somehow, even if it was something as simple as a beloved pet. That is hard enough to deal with on its own. When that death is self-induced, the pain is so much worse.

Up until recently, I have always viewed suicide as the coward’s way out. The utmost selfish act a person could undertake. Mostly because of the damage it caused in the lives of loved ones. I’m not sure where along the line I developed such a visceral reaction, but it has been with me a long time. Having said that, I fully acknowledge that there are extenuating circumstances such as self-sacrifice to save another, death with dignity, DNR requests, and cultural norms outside of the traditional Abrahamic religions. Knowing this, I have still carried that negative bias for the past twenty-five years.

Kathryn Lamphere, a fourth-class cadet at the Coast Guard Academy, braces herself against the side of the Coast Guard Cutter Eagle as a large wave crashes against the ship, in the Atlantic Ocean, on May 9, 2011. (Petty Officer 2nd Class Thomas Burckell, U.S. Coast Guard)
Kathryn Lamphere, a fourth-class cadet at the Coast Guard Academy, braces herself against the side of the Coast Guard Cutter Eagle as a large wave crashes against the ship, in the Atlantic Ocean, on May 9, 2011. Petty Officer 2nd Class Thomas Burckell, U.S. Coast Guard
K.C. Aud has made a career of being lucky and has managed to find something positive in nearly every poor decision he’s ever made, even if is only a new perspective on how not to do something. Enlisting in the U.S. Coast Guard in 2010, he became an operations specialist (radio and navigation) and did his first tour in Georgia, guarding submarines from drunk fishermen. In 2014, tired of the heat and the bugs, he transferred to a 210-foot medium endurance cutter in Washington state. The cutter then regularly deployed to the hot and buggy west coast of Central America to hunt down drug runners. Aboard the U.S. Coast Guard cutter Active he traveled 94,194 miles and personally handled enough cocaine to keep a small country high for a decade. Somewhere in there, he learned to write, if not spell. Three years later, daunted by the prospect of spending the rest of his career in a windowless command center, he separated from active duty. After 13 different jobs ranging from beer brewer to dairy farmhand to machinist to Navy civilian contractor, he reenlisted in 2020 as a Coast Guard reservist, changing rates to maritime law enforcement specialist. When not helping the Navy assets in the Puget Sound troubleshoot radios, he’s on drill in Seattle doing water cop stuff and or flailing away at his keyboard. Though married and now a father, he misses the mission.
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