From the archives: This story was last updated in January 2020.
Children often ask questions in public in a bid of curiosity to make sense of the world around them. Sometimes, these questions can be personal or even socially inappropriate and intrusive.For one mother from Fort Myers, Florida, her daughter’s question to a Waffle House server about the color of her skin threw her into a panic. The server, however, barely batted an eyelid, and her perfect response became the subject of a viral story that is inspiring thousands.
Mary Katherine Backstrom and her young daughter, Holland, have been regular customers of their local Waffle House for some time. Their favorite server, Cynthia, always made sure she was available to seat and serve the Backstrom ladies.
On one occasion, though, Holland had more than a waffle order in store for the family’s friendly server. In a moment of intense curiosity, Holland turned to Cynthia and asked her a very personal question.
Holland asked her favorite server, “Mrs. Cynthia, why is your skin so dark?”
It was an incident that caught Mary off guard. She later reflected on a Facebook post: “Toddlers get curious and ask questions that sometimes a parent would rather not answer. And you can’t control it. Not even a little bit.”
Mary admitted that she was mortified by her daughter’s awkward question and prepared herself to apologize to Cynthia. “Race is such a fragile topic, especially these days,” Mary continued. “And my daughter just approached it with the grace of a bull in a china shop.”
Cynthia, however, stepped in before Mary could even formulate her response. Per Mary’s Facebook post, the Waffle House server, rather than take offense at Holland’s question, scooped her littlest fan up into her arms and answered gently and wisely: “Because God made everyone different! Isn’t that wonderful?”
Holland considered Cynthia’s answer, then responded, “But, Mrs. Cynthia, if I had your skin we could both dress up like Tiana!” Cynthia simply laughed and told the little girl that she could dress up like Tiana any time, then went about her business serving customers.
“Mrs. Cynthia is the teacher we all need,” added another.
“What we must do, intentionally, is teach our children to see and appreciate the things that make God’s people so unique,” Mary added, explaining that to treat difference as a taboo would be a grave mistake.
It was not the first time that the two mothers, Mary and Cynthia, had supported one another. In early 2019, Mary navigated a devastating cancer diagnosis, and the family’s beloved Waffle House server provided comfort in times of uncertainty.
Mary was declared cancer free in May 2019.
In December 2019, Mary, who has become internet famous for her social gaffes and charitable exploits, caught the attention of Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen invited the surprised mom onto her talk show to receive a check for $20,000.
“If you don’t know Mrs. Cynthia [...] You need to know her,” she added. “She’s a national treasure.”
