College Humor’s latest spoof makes fun of Americans who are flat out clueless about the ongoing World Cup — arguably the biggest sporting event in the world.
The piece of satire features one fake reporter inquiring opinions on circumstances regarding the World Cup that are in fact absurd lies.
Apparently a sharp-looking man dressed in a suit and tie and holding a microphone is all the credibility interviewees need, as none of them even question for a second the validity of the questions being asked.
For the viewing pleasure, below is a transcript of the questions in all their ridiculousness. They are very creative, actually.
- Each time a goal is scored this year, the ball is filled with fireworks and will actually explode into a celebratory fireworks display. Do you think that will make the game more exciting?
Follow up: Some people are concerned about the injuries that it’s caused in other games this year. Do you think that they should be worried about injuries in the World Cup like that?
- So this year there is a legends team of stars from the 70’s and the 80’s who will be playing against other teams in the World Cup. Do you think they have a chance, even though they’re older?
Follow up: A lot of people are excited that Pele is coming back to play on the legend’s team. Do you think a 73 year old man has a good chance of keeping up with the younger players?
- One of the fields this year is actually going to have trees on it; it’s the rain forest field. Do you think that will affect different players from other countries?
- This year, ‘Hanz Florez’, the 9-year-old from Finland, is playing in the World Cup. (The name ‘Hanz Florez’ is used interchangeably with names like ‘Kenny Chopper’ and Quasi Spinkle’ in different interviews).
- So all players have the right to carry a gun with them on the field to avoid possible kidnappings that might occur in Brazil. Do you think it’s wise to have players on the field armed?
- So this year, Russia is requiring their players to wear full track suits so gay people can’t see their bare skin when they play. Do you think that’s a good move?
- This year, Texas is actually fielding a team for the World Cup. If they beat the United States, they earn the right to actually secede from the Union.
- So this year, the Taliban is fielding a team. Do you think they should have a team in the World Cup.
Follow up: New Mexico has a similar arrangement. If they beat the United States, they can actually rejoin old Mexico. Do you think that will happen?
Which one is your favorite?
And if we want to get technical, is this actually “proof” that Americans know nothing about soccer? Or rather that ignorant people simply exist in every country?