“Our baby has died. Our baby will never come home with us,” she continued. “This wonderful rainbow baby we were blessed with has now become a storm in our lives.
“Finding out your baby died is unfathomable. Learning you have to be induced and deliver your deceased child is way beyond that. My heart instantly ached for any woman that has told me she had a stillborn.”
Emily has three children—Cadyn, 10, Madelynn, 3, and Westyn, 1.
“By evening, I began to realize I had not felt baby move much and had contractions that felt different than any I have had before,” she wrote of her baby’s lack of movement. “I just told myself he was sleeping but as the time passed, I felt uneasy about it.”
When she and her husband went to the hospital to check a heartbeat, they learned that their son had died days before the due date, Mueller added.
“I truly thought we would be sent home with a smile, telling us to just wait for the arrival of our sweet Emersyn, who was due in 6 days,” she wrote. “I can’t and don’t want to explain that feeling to anyone. Turning to your husband and seeing him die inside. Seeing him completely break. Seeing your children feel and suffer your pain in front of your eyes. The pain is unbearable.”
Emily posed with 20,000 bees several months ago and explained to People magazine that she’s a beekeeper.
“Bees represent the beginning of new life and after my second miscarriage, I needed a new release,” she told People in September. “I connected with the bees and it helped take my mind off of other hardships that were surrounding me at the time, some people do yoga… I do bees.”
The photos of Mueller, a professional beekeeper and who is also honeybee rescuer, were taken by Kendrah Damis.
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