Uncle Xi Visits Washington, Chinese Media Hyperventilates

September 21, 2015 Updated: September 23, 2015

Chinese state propaganda channels have a character all of their own. At first the often odd, sometimes shrill tone they adopt can be offputting. But prolonged acquaintance reveals a welcome aspect: once you crack the code, what they’re actually trying to say is not that tricky. And absent the artifice, the message can become amusing.

Witness the sore reaction to Li Ka-shing yanking his capital from China. Or, the boastful manner in which the Xi Jinping trip to the United States is being portrayed. The latter topic is the subject of this week’s newsletter.

Following are the choicest excerpts about the trip from the main Party propaganda outlets of People’s Daily Online, China Central Television, Global Times, Xinhua, and China National Radio. Grouped into sections, we translate verbatim what Party media is saying about the meaning of the trip. (China pedants can find original marked up comments here.) Take a deep breath, because it’s mostly breathless.

Americans Love Xi Jinping!

“America loves self-confident, frank politicians. Xi Jinping is not only self-confident and frank, but he speaks in an extremely down-to-earth manner. He doesn’t read a script in a wooden manner, but often uses vivid and simple language to express practical and profound principles. Americans, including Obama and the ordinary masses, appreciate this in the extreme.” — People’s Daily

“Americans are so enthusiastic about this visit of Uncle Xi primarily because they endorse Uncle Xi’s leadership demeanor, because they have a correct understanding of China, they’re modest and open-minded, and the Chinese style of deriving pleasure from helping others has been spread around the world through the new media.” — China National Radio

“Uncle Xi’s visit to America has not only touched Americans, but has touched the entire world. Everyone is hopeful about this historic moment.” — China National Radio

China and America Must Always Work Together, the World Depends on It!

“China and America are the two most important countries in the world. They have the primary responsibility for creating the global order… Objectively speaking, only China and America are capable of effectively developing global economic governance. Thus, every country in the world hopes in extreme that China and America can cooperate in international economic leadership.” — People’s Daily Online

“Obama put forward the rebalance to Asia and hoped it would become his foreign policy heritage, but has never escaped the narrow path of trying to balance against China and its neighbouring countries. The road of building strategic trust between China and America is long.” — People’s Daily Online

“America can’t put forward one hand to cooperate, and another to surround and block China. Only by extending two hands in cooperation can the benefits of win-win be realized… America should fit into China’s peaceful development that is contributing to the world and bringing it a positive impact.” — China National Radio

(Separately, in an unintentional commission of irony by Global Times, the relative strength of China and the United States is compared to the Soviet Union and the United States. “America is helpless” in the face of China’s growing comprehensive national power, the article says.)

Xi Is Visiting the U.S. Upon Obama’s Express Request, Given How Tough a Spot America’s In!

“In February of 2015… Obama invited Xi Jinping to the United States. Making an invitation for a state visit seven months in advance is rarely seen in the history of U.S.-China relations. This shows that lessons were drawn from April and May of 2014, when American China policy went out of control—Obama used the method of notifying of a state visit well in advance to exercise strategic management of U.S.-China relations.” —People’s Daily Online

“Obama’s invitation to Chairman Xi to visit America comes at a time when America is responding to all sorts of global challenges, and needs to proactively gain a foreign policy legacy.” — People’s Daily Online

America Needs China More Than China Needs America! And Don’t Mention Hacking!

“The parts of American public opinion that want to take the chance to make things hard for China and put pressure on China in order to resolve specific issues, themselves have distorted and misjudged great country strategic interactions. Even more, they would lower in stature and view myopically a state visit. These static noises are at most a small number of American’s selfish calculations against China, and will not fundamentally block the big business conducted by those with an understanding of affairs in China and America.” — Global Times

“Actually, there have already been many American elites who have divulged that in his heart, Obama hopes more than China that Chairman Xi Jinping’s visit to America will be successful. This is because it will be the most important meeting and the longest time Obama will spend with a Chinese leader before he steps down from office, and is closely related to his foreign policy legacy. Even more important is that on many global topics, such as Iran, cybersecurity, climate change, global governance, America’s heavy reliance on China far surpasses in urgency those other differences.” — Global Times

China Is Just Better Than America!

“America’s ‘boxing’ attitude toward China’s military leadership often encounters China’s ‘Taiji’ response.” — Global Times

“In the past, Americans would laugh at Chinese foreign policy: ‘You don’t have that many allies.’ After hearing these words for so many years, I finally came up with a great comeback: ‘Even though China doesn’t have as many allies as America, we also don’t have as many enemies!’ Every time I say this phrase, the American’s arrogance is sliced in half.” — Global Times columnist