It was late at night when Anne called. She’d never called that late. “I think I’m going to get in trouble,” she whispered.
I snickered. Anne is too straitlaced to get into trouble, but you can pretty much count on whatever she’s up to having a big laugh at the end of it. As a matter of fact, I’d say our entire friendship of 30 years has centered around getting to that big laugh. And when bad times have come—and there have been many—we somehow still come out laughing on the other side, just to spite the devil.
“Oh no, what did you do?” I asked. I was half concerned, half waiting for the punch line.
Not surprisingly, she began telling me a story that had to do with yet another one of her notorious April Fools’ jokes. Every year, she pulls some elaborate hoax on family or friends. To Anne, the joke is an art form that must be carefully planned and orchestrated. This year, however, she hadn’t had much time to devise anything elaborate, so she’d hastily thrown something together at the last minute.
That “something” was a prank letter that would eventually get news coverage across the state.
It was a letter that was dropped off to only a handful of family members and close friends who lived in her city. It was “obviously a joke,” she said, and she was sure that everyone would know that she was behind it. But they did not. Despite years of these elaborate hoaxes, Anne somehow blindsides even her closest family members every year.
A relative who believed the letter to be real posted it on Facebook. Anne saw the post almost immediately and called her relative to reveal that she created it and asked her to take it down. She did. Literally about 12 minutes had elapsed from posting to removal. But it was too late; the internet had swallowed it up with one big, hungry gulp.
“Dear Resident/Pet Owner:
“At our regularly scheduled meeting of February 16, 2022, a motion was brought, seconded and passed regarding domestic pets residing within the City of Auburn.
“A concerned citizen addressed the city council in August 2021 and again in November 2021. Her concern was domestic animals (i.e. canines and felines) with exposed genitals. Her concern was shared by many. It is an uncomfortable and difficult situation for a parent, grandparent, or guardian to have to explain to their ward when they are questioned about canine and feline genitals.
“The City of Auburn researched this issue and found that many local veterinarians are also concerned about the damage the elements in Upstate NY present to our pets and their sensitive areas. Further research showed that many cities, town and villages across New York State and the New England States have made it mandatory that our domestic animals wear pants to cover their genitals to protect them from the elements and to deter unwanted mating.”
The kicker was the enclosed “Pet Pants Inc.” flyer. The pseudo-company, based in Roverton, MA, depicted a hamster wearing pants with the caption, “We also sell modesty pants for hamsters, ferrets, birds, and turtles! See our website for sizing!”
According to various Facebook posts and newspaper reports, people were calling city hall and even the local police department to complain about having to buy pants for their pets!
The mayor, on the other hand, was not amused. “We’re disappointed and frustrated people would go to these extremes,” he said. It wasn’t clear exactly what he meant by that, but one could assume he probably thought the letter was intended to make city hall look stupid. If truth be known, however, Anne knew hardly anything about the mayor and barely followed local politics.
All of this makes you wonder about the people who believed the letter and the pet pants ad. Have we really been so inundated with unbelievable, crazy, and irrational edicts that a law requiring “dog pants” doesn’t seem preposterous anymore?
The answer is yes. I guess we are ready to believe anything, even on April Fools’ Day.
