Mr. Trump Goes to Washington

March 6, 2016 12:46 pm Last Updated: March 6, 2016 12:46 pm

Those who quickly dismissed Donald Trump’s bid for the presidency are wrong. As his nomination as the Republican candidate for the presidency is becoming increasingly possible, it is worth analyzing his announcement as a candidate, since it offers an insight into the main tenets on which his presidency will be based. Rather than being a rambling account of a confused man’s thoughts, his announcement is a testament to the vagaries of the capitalist system, and the unpredictable turns of history.

Mr. Trump is incisive in his opinion about the waves of migrants coming to the United States. I should know, since I am an immigrant myself, although not necessarily one of those people who “have a lot of problems, and they’re bringing those problems to us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.” Perhaps some of these statements are right. On more than one occasion I brought some aspirin tablets from my overseas trips…

Let’s see what Mr. Trump’s foreign policy approach to the war in Yemen would be. One of his strategies is nothing short of brilliant. Let’s hear his innovative solution. “And believe me, you look at the border with Yemen. You remember Obama a year ago, Yemen was a great victory. Two weeks later, the place was blown up. Everybody got out—and they kept our equipment. They always keep our equipment. We ought to send used equipment, right? They always keep our equipment. We ought to send some real junk, because frankly, it would be—we ought to send our surplus. We’re always losing this gorgeous brand-new stuff.”

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Now, please, who in the world would have thought of a more stupendous idea? How could we, the rest of the world, total incompetent people, ever be able to come up with a more brilliant idea? Fight a war with second rate, used stuff, and to hell with them! They are the ones that are going to be stuck with it. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant, these are the thoughts of a unique mind.

It is this brilliance that makes him such a likable person. His explanation? “Somebody said to me the other day, a reporter, a very nice reporter, ‘But, Mr. Trump, you are not a nice person.’ That’s true. But actually I am. I think I am a nice person. People that know me, like me. Does my family like me? I think so, right. Look at my family. I am proud of my family… I give a lot of money away to charities and other things. I think I’m actually a very nice person.”

As a political commentator I must admit something. It is only fair to Mr. Trump. My not liking him as much as his family does is just a sour grapes reaction on my part. So far, I haven’t received a dime from Mr. Trump’s largesse…

How would Mr. Nice Person Trump solve the problems of Mexican migrants coming to the United States for medical care? Simple. “I would build a great wall, and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me, and I’ll build them very inexpensively, I will build a great, great wall on our southern border. And I will have Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”

I realize that we, in the United States, suffer from an excess of humble people, we are people unable to assert ourselves in the way a real leader does. And here is the pinnacle of Mr. Trump’s thoughts, “Now, our country needs—our country needs a truly great leader, and we need a truly great leader now. We need a leader that wrote ‘The Art of the Deal’ [Mr. Trump’s magnum opus]. We need a leader that can bring back our jobs, can bring back our manufacturing, can bring back our military, can take care of our vets. Our vets have been abandoned. And we also need a cheerleader.”

And that, my friends, is the reason why we need Mr. Donald Trump. He is the only one to have the main characteristic of a great cheerleader: A beautiful hairdo…

César Chelala, M.D., Ph.D., is a global public health consultant for several U.N. and other international agencies. He has carried out health-related missions in 50 countries worldwide. He lives in New York and writes extensively on human rights and foreign policy issues, and is the recipient of awards from Overseas Press Club of America, ADEPA, and Chaski, and recently received the Cedar of Lebanon Gold Medal. He is also the author of several U.N. official publications on health issues. He is an immigrant from south of the U.S. border (Argentina).