On Christmas Eve in an isolated mountainous region of Finland, Santa Claus is about to pay the inhabitants a visit, but he won’t be arriving on a sleigh pulled by prancing reindeers, hanging candy canes on the tree, or wearing a big red suit. Instead he will be unearthed from an archaeological dig after years as myth, starving and skeletal, and without worrying whether the kids are “naughty or nice”, he will want to kill them all. Ho ho ho indeed.
This is without a doubt, the most bonkers festive movie you will ever see. Part Goonies, part monster movie, part paedophile terror, but all completely brilliant in its upside down inventiveness.
Playing on folklore from the original home of Santa Claus, that he wasn’t such a jolly old fellow after all, Rare Exports is two thirds a brilliant film, during which a single malnourished Claus escapes and proceeds to abduct the village youngsters. It is at its strongest here because the singular threat lurks in the shadows, before being captured by the disbelieving adults and contained like a feral beast. The threat is prominent as this primeval being writhes and coils uncomfortably as a prisoner, and the danger to children in particular only emphasises the unease.
Where Rare Exports deserves a lump of coal is in its final reel decision to abandon this simple tale and take what has already been unique in execution and spoil it with CGI splurge and OTT action. So we get hundreds of rampaging Kris Kringles being pursued by a young boy who happens to be hanging from a helicopter, all in order to prevent a huge beastie being released from Santa’s sack. What just happened?
Whilst evolving as an intimate, quirky, Gremlins style tale, you are willing to forgive and appreciate the Brothers Grimm vibe and embrace its anti-mainstream narrative. But then it conforms to the bloat that has affected most Hollywood blockbusters. Thankfully though this doesn’t undo all of director Jalmari Helander’s good work.
This bad taste in the mouth is a shame because everything, from the charming child actor performances, to the chill inducing cinematography and locales, has made Rare Exports a treat that every grown-up boy or girl deserves to see this Christmas.
