Leila Abdallah—a mother to Liana, Alex, Michael, and Selina, a wife to Danny, and the daughter of Norma Habis and Michel Geagea, has endured more than most women in a lifetime.
On Feb. 1, 2020, the 32nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar, the fifth Saturday of 2020, Britain officially exited the EU membership, Australian fires continued to threaten New South Wales and Canberra, Australian Open Women’s Tennis was won by 21-year-old American Sofia Kenin, and four innocent and fun-loving kids were walking on the footpath to get ice cream in the suburb of Oatlands, north-west of Sydney’s central business district.
On that same day, a 29-year-old drunk and drugged driver in a ute was driving erratically. Speeding at more than 130 kilometres (80 miles) per hour in a 50 kilometres zone, he mounted a kerb and fatally struck Sienna Abdallah, eight, her siblings Angelina, 12, and Antony, 13, and their 11-year-old cousin, Veronique Sakr—all of the children died.
The driver also hit and injured three other children, one of whom sustained permanent brain injuries. The driver blew three times the legal alcohol limit and had cocaine and party drug MDMA in his system when he crashed into the group of children.
Samuel William Davidson, who pleaded guilty to four counts of manslaughter, was jailed in April 2021 for 28 years with a non-parole period of 21 years.
But in a majority decision handed down in July 2022, the New South Wales Court of criminal appeal concluded the term was excessive. Davidson was resentenced to a term of 20 years, with a non-parole period of 15 years.
How should a mother, wife, and daughter react to such a tragedy?
We Cannot Control Our Circumstances, but We Can Control Our Response
Born in Lebanon and coming to Australia in 2005, Leila, now 38, was raised as a Maronite Catholic. Despite the family being ripped apart by such a senseless act, Danny Abdallah said he is proud of his wife, who has championed forgiveness after that tragic fateful day.“She is my rock,” he said.
Both Leila and Danny have somehow managed to forgive the drug-affected driver who cut their children’s lives short. She says it was her Christian upbringing that taught her the importance of forgiving in times of despair.
But, as if losing three of your six children was not enough, the family’s home in Telopea at the time was robbed a year later and their plans for a memorial garden next to where the accident happened were rejected by Oatlands Golf Club.
Yet Leila was still able to hold her faith, and to this day, she recalls that in what may be called an epiphany, in a flashing moment, forgiveness came to Leila instinctively, and it’s an act she says that has given her a sense of freedom.
“Sometimes things happen to remind you how precious life is and how easily it can be taken,” she told a leading women’s magazine. “Let’s live our days with peace and love and with forgiveness.”
It’s difficult not to draw a parallel between what happened to Leila and the biblical Job. In the Book of Job in the Old Testament, Job is a righteous, God-fearing man who experienced severe trials and afflictions. Job lost all his property, his children died, and he suffered great physical agony.
But faced with the appalling loss of his possessions, his children, and finally his own health, Job still refused to curse God, and whilst questioning it, he kept his faith.
Leila kept hers as well.
Danny summed it up by saying: “Do I become the ’traditional man' and seek revenge, or do I stay as a dad and look at my other kids? I didn’t want to bring anger, resentment, bitterness in my household,” he said.
Both Leila and Danny truly had the patience of Job. Like Job, who was rewarded in chapter 42 with a long life and 10 more children, Leila, two years after the tragic loss of three of her six children in that devastating crash, gave birth to their seventh child, a little girl—Selina—a name devised by their surviving eldest daughter Liana as a mix of the two girls Sienna and Angelina.
Sharing Forgiveness
There is no question that the Abdallahs captured the hearts of the Australian people, the nation, and indeed the international media after incredibly forgiving the driver responsible for the deaths of their three children.For Leila, it was forgive, not forget.
As the then Chairman of the Mother of the Year Nominations Committee, I recall meeting Leila (and Danny) at their home in April to tell her that she was chosen as the 2021 Mother of The Year.
On leaving that meeting, tears were rolling down my eyes as I sat in the car reflecting on the tragedy.
In the footsteps of the award, this incredible couple launched the i4Give foundation in remembrance of their children and as a “National Day of Forgiveness,” with an i4Give Day being held on Feb. 1 each year.
And then, if being named Mother of the Year, establishing the i4Give foundation, and giving birth to baby Selina in March was not “reward” enough, Leila (and Danny) were invited to visit the Vatican and meet the Pope to share her story of forgiveness at the 10th World Meeting of Families (WMOF) organised by Vatican Dicastery for the Laity, Family, and Life along with the Diocese of Rome and held from June 22–26, 2022.
With Leila staying behind to care for baby Selina, Danny shared their power of forgiveness at the Vatican. In a remarkable acknowledgment of their faith, and in particular Leila’s strength and resilience, Danny relived their devastating story with Pope Francis and the world.
In the suburb of Oatlands, where the most common countries of birth were China 7.3 percent, South Korea 5.4 percent, and Lebanon 3.2 percent, where the most common religion was Catholic 33.2 percent (2016 Census), there still lives a woman with her family, who is indeed a woman after God’s own heart.
Like King David in the book of Acts, who was called a man after God’s own heart, Leila also had the same absolute faith in God. For Leila, it was, and simply is, Fides in Deo!