Cell Phones Create Secret World of Taboo Exchange in Pakistan

Beneath an external veneer of piety and religious fervor in Pakistan, lies a world of desire whose craving people are trying to fill via cell phone.
Cell Phones Create Secret World of Taboo Exchange in Pakistan
A 21-year-old university student texting during a break in her schedule. (The Epoch Times)
Masooma Haq
3/14/2011
Updated:
3/14/2011

<a href="https://www.theepochtimes.com/assets/uploads/2015/07/youngwoman_mobile_islamabad_medium.jpg"><img src="https://www.theepochtimes.com/assets/uploads/2015/07/youngwoman_mobile_islamabad_medium.jpg" alt="A 21-year-old university student texting during a break in her schedule. (The Epoch Times)" title="A 21-year-old university student texting during a break in her schedule. (The Epoch Times)" width="320" class="size-medium wp-image-122307"/></a>
A 21-year-old university student texting during a break in her schedule. (The Epoch Times)
ISLAMABAD—Beneath an external veneer of piety and religious fervor in Pakistan, lies a world of desire whose craving people are trying to fill via cell phone.

Cell phone packages in Pakistan are the cheapest in the world with companies making it very inexpensive for people to text message and talk. Between midnight and 7 a.m., texting, which is charged by the hour in Pakistan, costs four rupees or less than two cents per hour. A used cell phone can be purchased for as little as $10.

Cell phone usage in Pakistan has risen dramatically over the last seven years, according to the Pakistan Telecom Authority (PTA). Only about 5 percent of Pakistanis used cell phones in 2003, but by 2010, that number had risen to 70 percent indicating that now almost every household in Pakistan has at least one cell phone.

Not so Divided Genders

The increasing prevalence of cell phone technology is exploding traditional barriers between young men and women in Pakistan and fueling a rapid decline of traditional, conservative values.

Before cell phones, there was little opportunity for men and women to interact with the opposite sex outside of family. Traditionally, young men and women were expected to refrain from socializing with one another and the parents of the two young people would arrange their marriage, with the family’s blessings being a must.

In the public sphere, people still appear to follow old traditions, but behind the scene cell phones have given rise to a world of secrets and l'amour cache (hidden love).

“The cell phone has made it possible for people to carry on all kinds of relationships with the opposite sex and do it all undercover,” Aneela Sultana, an anthropologist and lecturer at the Quaid-i-Azam University in Islamabad told The Epoch Times.

Sultana said that cell phone technology has created a dating scene that Pakistan has never seen before. “It used to be that dating just didn’t happen. But in the last five years dating has taken on a whole other dimension with people from all age groups messaging and calling each other,” she said.

Twenty-four-year-old anthropology student, Majjid said he also sees cell phones taking hold of Pakistan’s culture. “I think that our norms are definitely changing,” he said. “For example people might be in the same household or be at a party and instead of talking to each other, they are on their cell phones text messaging their girlfriend or boyfriend.”

Due to safety concerns, there is not much for young singles to do in Pakistan, and they often resort to cell phone relationships to deal with boredom and stress. Young adults play games, text message, and use their cell phones to carry on casual relationships with the opposite sex.

A 23-year-old computer science student, Muhammad described one no-go cell phone relationship. “I had a relationship with a girl from a rural area for four years by cell phone,” he said. “We would text each other all the time. In the end nothing came of it.”

However, not all of Pakistan’s young people have jumped on the cell phone bandwagon. Sadia, a 24-year-old history student at Quaid-i-Azam, said she would like cell phone relationships curtailed.

“If I were the prime minister of Pakistan, I would make it so expensive to own a cell phone that no young person could own a cell phone,” she said.

“Too many young people use cell phones for vulgar activity and waste time,” she said.

Next: Cell Phone Marriages 

Cell Phone Marriages

While there is still widespread expectation that parents will choose the marriage partner for their son or daughter, cell phones are beginning to change this custom.

<a href="https://www.theepochtimes.com/assets/uploads/2015/07/student_mobile_islamabad_medium.jpg"><img src="https://www.theepochtimes.com/assets/uploads/2015/07/student_mobile_islamabad_medium.jpg" alt="University students on their mobile phones. (The Epoch Times)" title="University students on their mobile phones. (The Epoch Times)" width="320" class="size-medium wp-image-122308"/></a>
University students on their mobile phones. (The Epoch Times)
It is not uncommon for a young man and woman to meet via their cell phones and then elope if their parents don’t agree to the relationship.

Sarah, a young woman of 20 began her relationship with her husband via her cell phone. Her activity was unfathomable to her family where the men are in charge and the young female members must wear a hijab (a full gown and head cover) in public.

Sarah said she began the relationship by secretly texting her husband. “I knew he was my brother’s friend. So I secretly got his number and began texting him without telling him who I was,” She said.

“After I told him who I was, we would text message for hours and rates were very cheap,” she said.

Sarah never told her parents or her brother how she met her husband fearing that they would have ended the relationship and forced her to wed someone else. In order to marry, her husband had his more liberal family ask for her hand in marriage.

Quality Impact

While phones have made it possible to stay in communication with loved ones in case of emergency and bring a greater sense of security to many, socializing via cell phones has become a problem with some Pakistani’s starting to note that cell phones are diminishing the quality of their relationships.

Sajjid, a 40-year-old journalist said, “It used to be that people made time for each other, and when they met they really paid attention to each other. But not these days; someone’s cell phone is sure to interrupt the conversation,” he said.

A 65-year-old professor, Rubina Kattak, said, “I stopped going to a friend’s house basically because whenever I went she would be on her cell phone the whole time I was there.”

Some names in this article have been changed or withheld for the privacy of the speaker.

Masooma Haq began reporting for The Epoch Times from Pakistan in 2008. She currently covers a variety of topics including U.S. government, culture, and entertainment.
Related Topics