Why Children—and the Rest of Us—Still Need Mister Rogers

Mister Rogers reminds us of the importance of communication, gratitude, kindness, and more kindness.

Fred Rogers, known as Mr. Rogers, was the creator and host of the beloved children’s television show "Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood." MovieStillsDB

From 1968 to 2001, tens of millions of Americans, most of them children, watched “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” on television. He enthralled the preschool set, puzzled many adults—was this guy for real?—and was so one-of-kind that comedians such as Eddie Murphy parodied him.

Behind his famous pair of sneakers and cardigan sweater, Fred Rogers (1928–2003) was a man of many talents and gifts. He was a musician and songwriter, composing most of the songs used on his show. Although he never headed up a church, he was an ordained Presbyterian minister and a lifelong reader of the Bible. He studied child psychology and was a pioneer in children’s television.

Regarding this last accomplishment, Rogers’s biographer, Maxwell King, wrote that “he was the genius behind the most powerful, beneficial programming ever created for very young children, he was a fearless crusader for higher standards in broadcasting, he was a technological innovator and an entrepreneur decades before such work was popularly recognized, he was accomplished in the field of child development, and he was a leader of strong moral fiber.”

He was all of these things, but perhaps most importantly, as King tells us, Rogers was a teacher. Three key lessons he offered—both on the set and off—were the importance of clear communication, kindness, and gratitude.

"Mister Rogers' Neighborhood," which aired from 1968 to 2001, focused on kindness, emotional intelligence, and understanding. MovieStillsDB

Good Communication Means Connection

King notes that Rogers practiced an alternative to the high-tech wizardry of the 21st century. “As society grapples with the impact of instant, ubiquitous communication, and researchers debate its impact on education and cognitive function, Fred Rogers stands out clearly as someone who, though he embraced and used new technology in his creative work, always did so in a careful, thoughtful, slow-paced fashion.”

“The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers” by Maxwell King. Amazon.com

This same care extended to Rogers’s rapport with his audience of children. In his book “The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers,” King reported that co-workers on the set of “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” nicknamed the writing process for the show “Freddish.” What appeared to be simple sentences or phrases often underwent extensive revisions because the writers lacked Rogers’s ability to get inside the mind of a 5-year-old. A warning such as “It is dangerous to play in the street” underwent numerous modifications by Rogers, finally ending up as “Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them. And listening is an important part of growing.”

As an added measure to ensure that the scripts addressed the real concerns and needs of children, Rogers met nearly every week for 22 years with long-time mentor and well-known child psychologist Margaret McFarland. The two discussed scripts, with McFarland delighted at the ways that Rogers transformed her ideas and examples into life-affirming messages for his audience.

“There is no act in Mister Rogers,” McFarland once said. “How he behaves toward children on television is the same as how he behaves toward children off camera.”

That behavior blended kindness with communication.

The 3 Ways to Success

In her introduction to a Rogers essay, “Something Worth Giving,” Marge Petruska tells of an incident that she witnessed at a brunch. A 5-year-old girl recently adopted from Russia who spoke no English was at one point sitting all alone. Rogers left the adults, lowered himself to his knees so they could be face to face, and chatted her up in English while she replied in Russian. Soon, the two of them rose, went to the piano, and began playing together—“another act of communication.”

During his elementary school years, Rogers was bullied for being overweight and introverted. Although he blossomed in high school, becoming popular—he was president of the student council in his senior year—and slimming down, he never forgot the wall of separation that he’d felt from his peers in elementary school. Consequently, his tender-hearted regard for children sprang in part from Rogers’s own childhood trauma. King recounts the many times when Rogers, walking down a sidewalk or eating in a restaurant, would immediately turn all of his attention to a child who had approached him.

Nor was his trademark kindness restricted to children. Based on the recollections of one of Rogers’s interns, who had accompanied him to Boston to meet a key television executive, King relates this incident:

“A limousine had been hired to take them to the executive’s home. When they got there, the limo driver asked Fred when he should pick them up after dinner. Instead, Fred invited him in, to the bewilderment of the hostess. After dinner, he sat up front in the limo with the driver, a man named Billy, to get to know him.

“Before the evening was over, Fred and the intern went back to Billy’s house in West Roxbury to meet his parents. Fred came in and played the piano as people streamed in from around the neighborhood to listen. A few years later, when Fred learned that Billy was in the hospital dying, he called to talk with him and to say good-bye.” “There are three ways to ultimate success,” Rogers once said. “The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.”

Rogers was an advocate for children's education, a Presbyterian minister, and a television host. Getty Images

The Invisible Gift

In his later years, speaking at graduations or other events, Rogers often gave what he called his invisible gift to his listeners. Here’s part of what he had to say in his 2001 commencement address to the graduates and their families at Marquette University:

“I‘d like to give you all an invisible gift; a gift of silence to think about those who nourish you at the deepest part of your being—anyone who has ever loved you and wanted what was best for you in life. Some of those people may be right here today. Some may be far away, some may even be in heaven; but if they’ve encouraged you to come closer to what you know to be essential about life, I’d like you to have a silent minute to think of them.”

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In 1997, accepting a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Emmy Awards ceremony, and doubtless under the pressure of time, Rogers asked for only a 10-second moment of silence. The video of that moment shows that even with that reduced time, some of the audience were brought to tears of appreciation thinking of those who loved and supported them.

Clear communication with others, kindness, and gratitude. This old world needs all three—and not just now, but always.

And on behalf of all of those you helped to come closer to the “essentials about life,” thank you, Mister Rogers.