October is National Bullying Prevention Month and Dr. Charles A. Williams III, assistant clinical professor in Drexel University’s School of Education and director of the Center for the Prevention of School-Aged Violence, says that bullying must stop.
A valuable way for parents to respond to bullying, Williams said in a phone interview, is for parents to ask, “What am I doing to ensure my child is confident and has a healthy amount of self-esteem?”
“Parents should make sure children have self-esteem and understand that they have rights. Parents should make sure children are able to confidently and competently navigate their own social environment,” said Williams.
According to Williams, some children are targets for bullies. “Many children walk around with a bull’s eye that says ‘I can be a victim of bullying.’ A child with low self-esteem, somewhat withdrawn, not sure of him or herself, who does not have many friends, and walks around with the attitude that no one likes me and no one wants to be around me is more likely to be a victim of bullying,” said Williams.
Any child can be bullied, but William says that it is less likely to happen to a confident child. According to William, most of it starts with what is happening or not happening in the home.
“Children should be allowed to explore so they can learn and grow. Children should form relationships with other children at a very young age like on play dates; all of that stuff is very important and those kinds of activities help to build a child’s self-esteem,” said Williams.
In U.S. schools, teaching social skills may help stop bullying. Olweus Bullying Prevention Program is designed to stop bullying and create a safer learning environment. Halley Elementary School in Virginia tried the program. The school reported 42.3 percent of students were being bullied before they began. After one year of the bullying prevention program, 33.9 percent of students said they were bullied, stated Olweus’s website.
“Social skills are a way to prevent and address bullying, and right now we do not have those kinds of programs in our schools,” said Williams.
Teaching children social skills so they will be considerate listeners and speakers seems like an important part of education. But Williams says adding social skills to the curriculum is often neglected because of concerns over funds or because it is not considered educational.
Over the years, Williams and his colleagues have discovered that there is a very strong relationship between social skills, social and emotional development, aggression, and academic achievement.
“It is all related, we need more of it, and that would be an effective anti-bullying tool,” said Williams.
At home, Williams says that some parents are busy, hard at work, and chasing after bigger and better possessions. “Parenting is not what it used to be and parents today are over extended. All those things we chase after mean taking the time away from supporting, supervising, and teaching our children strong morals and values,” said Williams.
Teaching our children morals and values can help young people deal with differences. “In America we have all kinds of racial and ethnic groups, if we are not in a very conscious way teaching our kids to understand, honor, celebrate, and respect diversity then we may run into problems. If we are teaching them through our actions and behavior that we do not like certain groups then our kids pick up on all of that, as you can imagine, and they carry that into school. We know that not a single child on this planet is born hating anyone. Not a child comes out of the womb hating, they are taught all of it,” said Williams.
According to Williams, hate is often learned at home. “Children have learned in the home who not to like, who not to trust, who to fear, and are afraid of difference then they take that to school,” said Williams.
One way for parents to prevent bullying is to teach children about honoring and celebrating difference, to teach social skills, and to build self-confidence.
“Parents should not be so busy, nothing should be more important when you are parenting and all the other things are secondary. That is just a fact. Make time to because when you don’t, they suffer and we suffer. Schools need to create a culture with honor and respect, where you support each other and not attack each other,” said Williams.
