Alarm Clocks for People Who Can’t Wake Up

For those rough Mondays, waking up in time for work can be a difficult procedure. Luckily, with the help of modern technology.

WAKE UP: The Clocky alarm clock rests on a nightstand. The clock-on-wheels will sound its alarm, roll off the nightstand, and hide somewhere in the room if its snooze button is hit. Courtesy of MIT Media Lab

For those rough Mondays, waking up in time for work can be a difficult procedure. Luckily, with the help of modern technology there are a few alarm clocks that are sure to help you seize the day. Some take a soft approach, while others may quickly become the bane of your very existence.

The SnuzNLuz

Without a doubt, the most ruthless of the bunch is the SnuzNLuz. This WiFi-enabled alarm clock connects to your online bank account and will donate your own money to charities you hate if you snooze. To set it up, the user needs to select their bank from its 1,600 supported online banking institutions, and then select the nonprofit organizations they hate most from a list of 6,200. The user decides how much money the clock will donate each time they hit the snooze button (starting at $10) and with that, they may never hit that button again. It is possibly the only device that will make a butcher give money to PETA, or a Democrat donate to the GOP. According to SnuzNLuz creators at ThinkGeek Labs, thanks to this alarm “People who enjoy sleeping in are cowering in fear all across the globe—it’s finally true, when you snooze, you lose!”

Price: $39.99
Website: www.thinkgeek.com

Clocky

If getting out of bed is the difficult part for you, Clocky may be the solution. This small clock with wheels will give you one chance to get up. If you hit its snooze button, it will jump off your nightstand, drive across your floor, and hide from you—all the while buzzing. In order to turn it off, you’ll need to get up out of bed and find it. What better way to start the morning than reaching under your dresser in an attempt to turn off your alarm clock!

Price: $39.00
Website: www.nandahome.com

The Blowfly

If you need a more in-depth search to get yourself out of bed, the Blowfly alarm clock is sure to be the one for you. Unlike many others which give you a hit-the-snooze button warning, when this alarm goes off it launches a spinning rotor up to 9 feet into the air. The rotor will then fly around your room and land in a random location. In order to stop its incessant siren-like sound, you will need to get out of bed, find its rotor, and place it back in the clock. It does have a snooze button, but it will only work after you have already gotten out of bed, found the rotor, and returned it. After seven minutes, it will launch again.

Price: $14.13
Website: www.amazon.com

The Infallibly Polite Speaking Alarm Clock

If donating money to your nemesis or scouring your room for a clock aren’t your ideal ways of getting up in the morning, the Infallibly Polite Speaking Alarm Clock may be your cup of tea. The fancy alarm clock “faithfully reproduces the subtle wit employed by P.G. Wodehouse’s most famous character—the valet Reginald Jeeves—as he politely affirms the beginning of the day,” according to a description from its primary sellers at Hammacher Schlemmer. Each morning the clock will play one of its 126 wake-up messages in the voice of British actor Stephen Fry. Among its wake-up calls are “It appears to be morning. Very inconvenient, I agree. I believe it is the rotation of the Earth that is to blame, Sir,” and “I feel sure you have slept soundly, feel thoroughly refreshed, and await the day with the anticipation of an energetic gazelle.”

Price: $99.95
Website: www.hammacher.com