In Part I, Min Deren and his two older sons set out on a cold winter night together to go to the neighboring East Village where they would meet with Min Deren’s friends and discuss poetry. But before they got very far, Min Deren discovered that his eldest son, Ziqian, was dressed in a coat lined with grass—and was suffering from the bitter cold. Min Deren sent his middle son, Yingge, off to fetch his wife’s father, while he and Ziqian turned home, where Min Deren meant to argue with his wife. She had dressed Ziqian, who was her step son, in a reed hair coat, while dressing Yingge, the son she bore Min Deren, in warm silk cotton.
Grandpa said, “Son in law, why did you bring me here?”
“My family has everything good, only one thing worries me.”
“You are living well. What worries you?”
“I won’t say anything more. Let me go.”
Li Xiuying said, “Oh, dad, please don’t go.”
“You don’t want me to go?”
“No.”
“OK, if you don’t want me to go and still want me to take care of this, you have to listen to me. I want you to hold the third son and kneel down on the ground. Put the divorce letter on your head, apologize, and admit you were wrong. Then I can make things right for you.”
“OK, I will listen to you, dad.”
Grandpa turned to Min Deren. “Son-in-law, my daughter has realized she is wrong. Also, it’s my fault that I didn’t raise her well.”
Min Deren said, “The one who did it should take responsibility. It has nothing to do with you, father-in-law. Let me divorce her. Take her home.”
Grandpa pushed Li forward to make her apology.
Li Xiuying spoke, while pulling gently on Min Deren’s clothes. “Oh, my dear husband, let there be no quarreling between husband and wife. It is all because I am too careless and made a reed hair coat. Please forgive me, my husband.”
Min Deren objected. “No, you are not serious. You just want to make what is big small, to understate it, and treat me like I am 3 years old. You made a coat out of reed hair due to carelessness? You are not serious and not honest. Take the divorce letter and go away right now!”
Li Xiuying said, “Husband has really gotten angry. I feel so ashamed but there is no way out. Let me die, and then no trouble will bother others anymore.”
Ziqian hurried up to his mom, “Mom, please don’t.”
“Mom, you mistreated me, but how can I forget you fed me for 13 years? People say one thousand kilograms of gold is not a treasure. Only a happy family is a treasure. No matter how much suffering I have, I won’t complain any as long as my two younger brothers are not suffering.
“I take Yingge’s, my dear brother’s, hands. Both kneel down before our mom and dad. Dad, mom, let me cry for my dear dad, let me beg my old dad, please do not let mom go away. We cannot let her be lonely in her old age. Also, please think of my baby brother.
“Could you bear letting them suffer too? Could let them also be mistreated by a step mom? I would rather keep mom, and then I am the only one who suffers. If mom goes, then all 3 sons suffer. Dad, please!”
Min Deren said, “Oh, my son! Ziqian, my son, crying tears, with his brother he knelt down before us. My silly son, you are still thinking of others at this time. Do you know you are different from others?”
Yingge spoke up. “How different?”
Min Deren said, “Your brothers, when they need their dad, dad is here. When they want their mom, their mom cares. But my poor son, you, though you have your dad here, he cannot take care of your food and clothes. If you want the mother who gave birth to you, where is she? My poor son, your mom died when you were young. My son, you have been mistreated but did not dare to tell me. If your mother were still alive—my son you will be taken care of in everything. How could I let you be mistreated and suffering like this?
“Ziqian’s words have shaken the heavens. I, Min Deren, am not a man with an iron heart. Li Xiuying, how could you treat the same sons differently? How could you be so unfair that one has cotton and one has reed flower?
“Do you remember when we were just married? You went looking for milk for Ziqian, visiting all the neighbors. You promised to treat him as your own. I thought I could leave Ziqian in your care and take care of business without worry. Who knew that when you had your own baby, you would change. You mistreated Ziqian, spoiled your own baby, and cheated me and lied to me.
“Even if you beat him and cursed him for his own good, to teach him to behave himself, for his studying—that is all fine. But in the bone-cold winter, what heart do you have inside you that you let him wear clothes made of reed flower?
“Today if I insist on divorcing you, then another step mom will give my sons 3 sets of reed flower clothes. When that happens, Li Xiuying, won’t you be sad? Think of others, then think of me, and then you will know by yourself how things stand.”
Li Xiuying replied, “Hearing Ziqian begging, I feel so much shame. I was wrong to mistreat Ziqian. Ziqian doesn’t hate me and instead begs for me and my sons. How can I be so hard hearted? I should thank Ziqian’s golden words. Let me kneel down in the hall and vow to the Gods, from now on, I will correct all my error and treat Ziqian like my own!
Min Deren said, “Hearing Li Xiuying vow to the Gods, the issue of the reed flower coat is dissolved. From now on, you brothers should study hard and diligently. The whole family is happy!”
This is a true story about Min Sun, also known as Min Ziqian, who lived during China’s Spring and Autumn Period (722-481 BC), a period known for civil unrest, strife, and war.
Ziqian became a famous scholar and had a honored place among the 72 students of Confucius. The story of his exemplary filial piety has been passed down throughout the years and has provided a very good example for generation after generation.
Read Part I of A Son’s Virtue Restores Harmony to a Family HERE.
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