We can all use a reminder to pause and be grateful for all we have because it’s human nature to focus on all of the things we don’t have.
The culture we live in bombards us with messages that we should have more, do more, and be more. Driven strongly by social media and advertisements, we’re conditioned to believe that what we have isn’t enough. That’s a recipe for discontent, depression, and despair.
That’s also why it’s so important to incorporate gratitude into our lives.
As a mental health professional for 35 years, I’ve counseled hundreds of people struggling with anxiety, depression, addictions, relationship problems, and other serious challenges. Almost always, the practice of gratitude is emphasized in treatment as a step toward wellness and health.
The Science of Gratitude
Gratitude promotes wellness in numerous ways. Over the past few decades, social scientists have accumulated a body of research demonstrating how gratitude enhances well-being: improved self-esteem, better sleep, boosted immunity, decreased depression, reduced anxiety, stronger relationships, and more.Two leading gratitude researchers, Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough, have extensively studied the benefits of being thankful for daily blessings.
“When people are grateful, they experience ‘calm energy’—they feel more alert, alive, interested, enthusiastic,” Emmons said.
Gratitude is something we can control in our lives. Gratitude isn’t simply a response we feel when things go right. It’s a deliberate attitude we choose even when they don’t. It’s the decision to consciously acknowledge the many things in our lives that are good, enjoyable, and beneficial. Because, no matter how trying your circumstances, there’s always something to notice and appreciate.
Many things in life we have little or no control over: inflation, being downsized from a job, an out-of-the-blue diagnosis, and political and social strife. So much is beyond our individual control—but not so with gratitude. It’s a matter of making a choice, consistently and genuinely.
Gratitude “recruits” other positive emotions. When we choose gratitude, we often find that hope, courage, and other helpful emotions join in to strengthen us. When we take the time to be thankful, joy and contentment spring up as well. Negative emotions—such as anger, jealousy, greed, and fear—all lose power when pitted against gratitude.
Likeminded emotions tend to cluster together. Choose gratitude and you’ll soon notice that it lifts the tide of many other emotions.
Gratitude shifts our focus from negative to positive. We all have far more to be thankful for than we realize. Problems always make the most noise in our lives, so we give them our attention. Purposefully cultivating gratitude quickly reveals that trouble isn’t all we have.
When we’re hurting, our thoughts and emotions are drawn to the source of pain like iron chips to a magnet. We dwell on our own weaknesses, poor decisions, and disappointments. However, choosing to be thankful draws our thoughts and emotions away from our distress and places them on our blessings.
Gratitude reveals the bright side in dark times. True gratitude goes much deeper than the clichés that say, “Every dark cloud has a silver lining” or “Look at the glass as half full, not half empty.” Even the bleakest of circumstances and toughest situations hold legitimate reasons to be thankful. Appreciating even the smallest of blessings helps you withstand the pain of loneliness, broken relationships, and dashed dreams.
We can choose to say, “I will resent” or “I will rejoice.” Our decision makes all the difference between experiencing the freedom to move forward or being bound up by bitterness. When we seize the opportunity to express gratitude, we take hold of a weapon that will help us prevail over resentment and disappointment.
Gratitude expands exponentially. I’ve noticed countless times that depressed people tend to look for things to be depressed about. Everywhere, they see more and more reasons to be depressed. The same principle applies to those struggling with anxiety and other emotional challenges.
Thankfully, the opposite is also true. The more we intentionally practice gratitude, the more we'll find to be grateful for. The choices we make and the things we seek out build momentum for the positive or the negative. Seek and you shall find.