When is Therapy Over?

When is Therapy Over?
Katherine Smith
9/26/2013
Updated:
4/24/2016

Dear Kathy,

 I had a difficult childhood and I’ve had intermittent anxiety throughout my entire  life. The guidance counselor at my high school recommended to my parents that I see a therapist to process my feelings. That was 19 years ago. It really helped to talk to someone while my parents were going through their divorce and fighting for custody of us, but since I’ve become an adult, I feel okay. But whenever I talk to my analyst about terminating therapy, she tells me that I need to work through my resistance with her. I’ve been trying to move on from therapy for over two years now, but I’m still there. When is therapy over?

Over-analyzed in Orange County

 

Dear Analyzed,

 The short answer is that therapy is over when you, the client, determines it’s over. If you are not experiencing any suicidal ideation and you feel like you can manage your emotional life by reaching out to friends and family who are supportive and encouraging, discuss this with your analyst. Nineteen years is a long time...I tend to favor a shorter term solution-focused approach with my clients.

Although clients with significant childhood trauma and/or mental illness remain in therapy much longer than other segments of the therapeutic population, I work with all of my clients to reduce or terminate therapy to the degree to which it is appropriate to the case. As in parenting, I define success by the benchmark of working myself out of a job, so-to-speak.

Readers, please comment on this post as the gentleman who wrote the above letter will benefit from others weighing in on this topic. I welcome a lively discussion!

Sincerely,

Kathy

 

is a licensed marriage and family therapist as well as a gifted divorce mediator in NYC. She is a former high school English teacher and college counselor with a passion for enhancing the lives of others. Additionally, Katherine has extensive training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, family systems, and group therapy. Readers can contact her at [email protected].
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