Jonna Miller is a stay at home mom and blogger who describes herself as “a small town Indiana girl with a big mouth” and a mother to an ornery but beautiful 2-year old girl and a husband she feeds and waters every day.”
Jonna and David haven’t been married long, you could call them newlyweds who should be caught up in the honeymoon phase. However, the reality is different.
Jonna is a stay-at-home mom with a husband she hardly gets to spend much time with. Jonna’s fairy-tale idea of what her Prince Charming would look like was different from what she was experiencing every day. Her Prince Charming had “rough, cracks hands and crows feet” and he wasn’t even 30 yet.
In Jonna’s mind, David worked so hard because he didn’t want to spend time with her. It may sound irrational, but a lot of women go through this. Marriage isn’t always what its cracked up to be; it’s not a fairy tale, people don’t ride off into the sunset and go on to live happily ever after.
Once reality sets in and life happens, Cinderella will realize that Prince Charming is not so charming after all.
“I don’t recall the Prince missing dinners because he was working overtime or going to bed shortly after he came home to his Palace because he was so exhausted. I don’t remember any of that,” she wrote.
Jonna, who blogs on The Blunt Blonde, opened up about her feelings—the loneliness that comes from being married to a hard-working man, and how unrealistic expectations can lead to misery.
She had turned into a shrew, a nagging wife without realizing it all because she felt she wasn’t getting the attention she needed. She would literally be seething with all the things that she would say to him when he got home from work late
“Boy, is he going to hear it from me when he gets home!”
Of course, David would have wanted to spend more time with his wife and daughter, but he was caught in a situation where he could never win.
“I’m putting him in a lose-lose situation,” she wrote. “If he doesn’t work late, we won’t get the new furniture set that I HAVE to have.”
Sometimes these situations can spiral out of control as one emotion feeds into the next intense feeling.
Things changed for Jonna one Wednesday evening when she was doing the laundry.
David was late in coming home as usual. As she played with her daughter and did the laundry she thought of all the things she was going to say to him when he walked through the door.
The drier went off and she started to fold laundry. As she folded she noticed that her clothes looked clean and vibrant while his were old, stained, and torn.
And then that rare “A-ha!” moment of clarity hit her.
“This man provides more than I deserve. If I tell him I want something, very seldom will he tell me no,” she thought to herself.
She realized that she was not grateful for having a hard-working man who made sure that she and her daughter had everything they needed even if it meant he would have to make do with the old clothes and torn boxer briefs.
Instead of being grateful she was acting like her husband was out partying with friends instead of taking care of his family.
This moment of clarity brought on by a simple act of folding laundry made Jonna see things in a whole new light. She had a husband whose dream was to have a family and to be able to provide for them.
He was doing that, but she was giving him grief for it. For the first time in a long while, Jonna realized how much her husband actually loved her.
“I have realized he is offering me the most beautiful form of love there is… he works to give our family everything we need. He works so his wife and daughter don’t go without.”
Her advice to women who have hard-working men in their lives they feel aren’t giving them enough attention is … “Do his laundry.”