Mom gets note about treating her adopted black daughter ‘differently’, so she fires back

August 17, 2017 3:24 pm Last Updated: December 22, 2017 7:06 pm

Tonya Keefer is the mother of two beautiful children—both of them adopted. They both had different birth mothers, who were both addicts and could not raise the children themselves. Since the day Keefer became their mother, they have been the light of her life.

So imagine her surprise when, on a regular day out for a fun family dinner, she returned to her car to find a hateful and ignorant note.

The note read:

“Just because the girl is black does not mean you have to treat her any different than your white child.

You and your husband walked off and did not look back for the little black girl to make sure she got out the car safely.

You should be ashamed.
Seems like you’re racist.

Give the black girl back to her mother.
You and your husband are white trash.”

When Keefer read the note, she was stunned—and then she was upset, for reasons contrary to what the sender of the note might think.

“The ‘black girl’ as you call her, is so much more than the label you place on her,” Keefer wrote.

“She has a name, we call her Leah. She has a beautiful personality, a silliness that is endearing and a laugh that is infectious,” Keefer wrote.

“She is talented and creative and hilarious.”


“In fact as we drove into the Zaxbys parking lot tonight she was bouncing and giggling in the back seat, being her incredibly unique self.”

Keefer goes on to say that while the author of the note only saw a “black girl,” Keefer saw an answer to her prayers.

“You can’t see the times I’ve cried or lost sleep wondering if I was good enough for her,” she wrote.

“You see the ‘black girl’ with the white family.
But I see an answer to my prayers, my daughter, my miracle.
I’m sorry that when you see my children you judge them by the difference in skin color, I truly am.”

“Both of my children were abandoned by their birth mothers.
Both of them were born to addicts.
Both of them deserve the very best of life.
And I’ll admit they deserve more than I could ever give them.”

Some would say Keefer and her husband are heroes for bringing these children into their home, but Keefer says it’s the other way around.

“These 2 children are my heroes.
They are the reason I get up on days I don’t feel like it.
They are the reasons I smile when things aren’t perfect.”

“They are my joy, my hope and my life. And I am so sorry that you can’t see past the differences of our skin color to be able to see any of that.”

Keefer is not angry, but she wanted to share her message in the hopes that the author would see it and look past the color of their skin.

“If this note ever finds you, I want you to know I am not angry and I would love to buy you dinner and offer you the chance to get to know our wonderfully unique family,” Keefer wrote. “God bless you!”