In China, for over 35 years, there was a strict one-child policy. This policy had major consequences both societally and socially, but the impact of this policy on the family was the worst.
Chinese husband and father, Li (alias), had more than just a little trouble while raising his daughter Ying (alias).
In the beginning, Li’s attitude prevented him from positively educating his daughter while, at the same time, creating friction that eventually led to family discord and “fierce quarrels” according to Minghui.org.
It’s a given that people will make mistakes in their lives.
Parents will do what they can to help their children, but it’s easy to forget about a person’s feelings in the process.
Li’s relationship with his daughter consisted of “picking at her faults.”
Whenever Li and his teenage daughter would get into an argument, it would end up with Li disregarding any opinions that his daughter would have.
Many times the disputes would end with Li saying, “Dad is doing this for your own good. You should learn to obey!”
Although Li knew that he was correct about the points he made, he noticed that there was no way to get his point across to his daughter without having the tension escalate. He didn’t understand what the problem was.
As a practitioner of Falun Dafa, Li would try to assimilate himself to the principles of truthfulness, compassion, and tolerance.
Along with the cultivation of one’s body, the practice emphasizes improving your moral character. After meditating one night, he started to piece things together.
He came to the conclusion that the way he would teach his daughter was by pushing his ideas on her by force.
During a conversation between Li and his wife, she said to him, “You always think you’re right…you are opinionated and try to impose your thoughts on others–not only when it comes to our child but also to me and other practitioners.”
Despite having uncovered the root of the issue, Li faced another problem.
Li practiced Falun Dafa, and because the Chinese Communist Party persecutes adherents, Li was detained for 2 years. During his confinement, he thought about the issues he left back at home.
Meditating, he realized he had not acted in accordance with the principles of truthfulness, compassion, and tolerance.
Li became determined to change for the better.
Li was released, after serving his sentence.
It wasn’t long after Li’s return that his daughter would test him. His daughter would stay up late, sleep in, and make a mess in the bathroom among other things.
“Once, she took a long shower and even got water into the living room.”
Water began to seep into the living room and eventually made it under the living room floor. To make matters worse, he had to wait to use the bathroom!
Li was filled with rage and was ready to knock on the door with his clenched fist, but he decided to take a step back. After Ying came out and apologized for the mess, his compassion emerged.
“I calmly gave her tips for avoiding the problem in the future.”
Much Needed Closure
Last November, Li received a call from his daughter in college. Ying was caught lying to her counselor about her reason for not living on school grounds. Her supposed “noisy” dorm excuse was exposed.
The truth was that she would spend much of her time crying over her mother, and she preferred to keep that under wraps. Ying’s mother was also arrested for talking to people about Falun Dafa last spring, and this brought her much grief.
Luckily, there was a way to get permission to live off school grounds, but it required her dad to apply. Although she spoke to him about it, Ying was very reluctant to ask for his help because she feared his insensitive side.
Li could hear the hesitation in her voice and said, “Dad didn’t understand you before and liked to scold people, and I gave you a bad impression…Just like you, I’m improving now and becoming more mature. Can we still apply now?”
Ying cheered up immediately after.
Love and Appreciation
“Later that night, my daughter sent me a message.”
In response to her dad’s compassionate heart, she decided to send him a message showing her appreciation.
“Dad, today is Thanksgiving. I really thank you. I don’t know how to say a lot of things. You’ve worked hard in this period of time. Thank you for what you have done for me, Mom, and everyone. I understand everything. You’ve really worked hard. I love you.”
She even added a heart emoji in the text. There’s no better feeling than getting an appreciation text from your daughter with a heart emoji included.
Li has since continued to cultivate himself in Falun Dafa and does his best to measure all of his actions with truth, compassion, and tolerance.
He remembers the days when his daughter would say, “Even if you’re right, I won’t listen to you!”. Li’s change of heart lifted much tension from their relationship.
A little patience and compassion can go a long way.