Kids saying whatever they please is both a blessing and a curse. When Allison Kimmey’s four-year-old daughter, Cambelle, called her “fat”, Kimmey didn’t cringe at the word or even scold her child. Instead she took the comment and turned it into a lesson about body positivity, one that we can all benefit from.
“My calling in this life is to educate, empower, and equip all of womankind to be independent, fierce, self-loving women that are ready to run their life….and this world!” Kimmey says about herself on her website. The self-help author and body positivity role model has seen some of her social media posts go viral in the past, each one promoting the message that everyone is perfect just the way they are. A person doesn’t have to lose weight to be seen as beautiful. And this post was no different.
“My daughter called me fat today.”
My daughter called me fat today. She was upset I made them get out of the pool and she told her brother that mama is fat. I told her to meet me upstairs so we could chat. Me: "what did you say about me?" Her: "I said you were fat, mama, im sorry" Me: "let's talk about it. The truth is, I am not fat. No one IS fat. It's not something you can BE. But I do HAVE fat. We ALL have fat. It protects our muscles and our bones and keeps our bodies going by providing us energy. Do you have fat?" Her: "yes! I have some here on my tummy" Me: "that's right! So do I and so does your brother!" Her brother: "I don't have any fat, I'm the skinniest, I just have muscles" Me: "actually everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts." Her brother: " oh right! I have some to protect my big muscles! But you have more than me" Me: "Yes, that's true. Some people have a lot, and others don't have very much. But that doesn't mean that one person is better than the other, do you both understand? Both: "yes, mama" Me: "so can you repeat what I said" Them: "yes! I shouldn't say someone is fat because you can't be just fat, but everyone HAS fat and it's okay to have different fat" Me: "exactly right!" Them: "can we go back to the pool now?" Me: no 🤣🤣 __________________ Each moment these topics come up i have to choose how I'm going to handle them. Fat is not a bad word in our house. If I shame my children for saying it then I am proving that it is an insulting word and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical and undesirable. Since we don't call people fat as an insult in my household, I have to assume she internalized this idea from somewhere or someone else. Our children are fed ideas from every angle, you have to understand that that WILL happen: at a friends house whose parents have different values, watching a tv show or movie, overhearing someone at school- ideas about body image are already filtering through their minds. It is our job to continue to be the loudest, most accepting, positive and CONSISTENT voice they hear. So that it can rise above the rest. Give me a 🙌🏻 if this resonated w u! Just do you! Xoxo Allie
Kimmey detailed the conversation she had with her daughter and son in a post on Instagram, which featured both mother and daughter at the beach in their bathing suits. According to the post, Cambelle called her mother fat after she became upset that Kimmey asked her and her brother to get out of the pool. “What did you say about me?” Kimmey asked the four-year-old.
“I said you were fat mama, I’m sorry.”
Rather than “shame” her daughter for calling her fat, Kimmey explained to both her children that a person couldn’t be fat because a person simply had fat. “Actually everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts,” she wrote.
In her post she continued by saying that the word “fat” is not a bad word in their house, so her child must have picked it up from an outside source. “Our children are fed ideas from every angle, you have to understand that that WILL happen: at a friends house whose parents have different values, watching a tv show or movie, overhearing someone at school- ideas about body image are already filtering through their minds,” she wrote.
“It is our job to continue to be the loudest, most accepting, positive and CONSISTENT voice they hear.”
Kimmey wrote in a separate post that she wants people to be aware that children pay the most attention to what their parents say. If they believe being “fat” is a bad thing, the child will go through life thinking the same thing. “Shaming weight, demonizing foods, and using exercise as punishment has never and will never lead to a positive body image and relationship with food.”
While certainly no one is obligated to follow in Kimmey’s footsteps, the body positivity mom reminds us all, “Just do you babes, fearlessly and unapologetically. They are watching.”
Hey mama 👋🏻 In case you need a little reminding: You are your child's greatest mentor. Period. End of discussion. Being a thinner mom doesn't make you a better fit for parenting. Being a bigger mom doesn't make you a bad influence. No matter your size or circumstance, the greatest gift you can give them is unconditional love and unapologetic joy. Double tap if you needed this reminder today ❤️🙏🏻 Just do you babes, so our children can too! Xoxo Allie _______ #momlife #bopo #parenting #bopowarrior #effyourbeautystandards #plussize #allbodiesaregoodbodies #teachthemyoung