— Form and reform circles of supportive friends
— Actively participate in political and non-political groups
— Find outlets for creative talents
— Keep physically active
—Stay emotionally active in ways that inspire the mind and nurture the spirit
At a time when women increasingly live into their 90s and more men reach their 80s, the art of aging requires work, thought, planning and, yes, spontaneity.
Learning this art is crucial, as many Americans now have a realistic chance of living beyond 80, said Mark Williams, an attending physician at the New Hanover Regional Medical Center in Wilmington, N.C., and author of “The Art and Science of Aging Well: A Physician’s Guide to a Healthy Body, Mind and Spirit.”
“I don’t think we give enough respect to what it takes to age well—until it happens to you,” said Anne Newman, 62, professor and chair of epidemiology in the Graduate School of Public Health at the University of Pittsburgh. “It’s a balance between fighting it and accepting it that requires a great deal of grace and courage.”
And humor. Perhaps, humor most of all.
Goodrich, a former schoolteacher who lives in Seal Beach, California, still meets regularly with her friends who retired from teaching. When the group gathered recently for a holiday cookie exchange, Goodrich—who has had serious back surgery and knee surgery over the past decade—heard several of the women, ages 65 to 83, complaining about their aches and pains. She stopped the discussion and said they would go around the table and give each woman five minutes to complain about her aches and pains. That’s when everyone broke out laughing, recalled Goodrich.
Never mind that the two women are polar opposites politically.
Goodrich jetted cross-country from her longtime California home just blocks from the beach to join the women’s march in Washington, D.C., last year. Kelly, a retired pharmacist who lives in the Pittsburgh area, was the first female Republican elected to the town council in her Democratic district—at age 78—then was re-elected at age 81. And she still helps with voter registration.
It doesn’t matter what political party you support—what matters most is that you care enough to get involved, both women agree.
Both women say the key to aging well is to positively begin the process when you are still young by staying engaged with people and with stimulating activities.
“Aging starts when you’re younger and continues when you’re older,” said Kelly, who lives in a retirement village outside Pittsburgh.
Goodrich, who at 50 returned to school to get her master’s degree in professional writing from the University of Southern California, has since won several playwriting contests, and those plays were ultimately produced at three different festivals. She also self-published a children’s book at age 60.
“No one suddenly gets old,” Goodrich said. “I think we’re all on the path of life. I may be old in years, but I’m the same person who’s been living the same life. The key is to participate in each stage along the way.”
Goodrich lost her second husband, Michael, also a schoolteacher, after 33 years of marriage, but not before the two accomplished an incredible feat: walking the state of California. They did this over many years in bits and pieces starting in 1983, and finally completed the long journey from San Diego to the Oregon border in 2005, when Goodrich was 68.
But she’s not done exploring. She’s not done setting goals. She’s not done growing. Goodrich took her family to France’s Loire Valley in 2016. She works with a personal trainer twice a week and walks daily, often to the beach. And she has recently taken up the ukulele, and attends a regular class.
Kelly, meanwhile, regularly lectures on historical figures from Benjamin Franklin to Betsy Ross, then donates her speaking fees for the protection of an 18th-century church that still stands not far from where she lives.
Neil Rosenthal, an author and counselor in the Denver area, has a simple term for what drives Kelly and Goodrich to continue accomplishing such great things in their 80s and 90s: a sense of wonder.
“If you don’t do these kinds of things, you will grow old; and if you do do these things, you will still grow old—but much more slowly,” said Rosenthal.
Aging well is something that must be learned, Rosenthal said.
“It’s all about separating out what matters from what doesn’t.”
In the end, it’s about that willingness—if not desire — to have “fun,” even into your 80s, 90s and, perhaps, beyond, he said.
Fun? Wait. Who equates aging with fun? Well, not long before her spinal surgery and knee replacement, Goodrich went zip-lining when she was 70.
Out of fear—or a sense of too much comfort—the majority of older folks say “no” to many opportunities for new experiences, added Goodrich.
Not her.
Bruce Horovitz is a writer for Kaiser Health News, which originally published this article. KHN’s coverage of these topics is supported by John A. Hartford Foundation and Gordon and Betty Moore Foundation