From a 10-Year-Old: ‘Oh Dearest Mr. Farmer’

November 17, 2020 Updated: November 17, 2020

Note: This story was sent in by proud grandmother Ursula Solimine. It was written by her granddaughter Ellis Solimine, age 10. Ursula says, “We are planning on reading her story this Thanksgiving and everything Thanksgiving in the future … just for laughs!”

Oh dearest Mr. Famer,

You see, I’m in no turkey to eat! I swear!

I have been going to the gym! I’m all skin and bones! And nobody wants to chew on bones like that nasty dog of yours.

Hey! I have an idea! Eat the dog! Or just take my little brother! I don’t care! As long as I’m not the one on your dinner plate.

I have a family and twelve chicks! I’m begging you!

Have you ever had pumpkin pie? It’s a lot better than turkey.

What about becoming vegans? You can go on strike with me!

“Save the turkeys!”

“Save the turkeys!”

“They have lives too!”

We’ll become best friends you see …

Give me a chance this Thanksgiving. I’d really appreciate it.

—Gobble, gobble,

Turkey

(Also PS, if your considering my brother, like I said, he is up for grabs)