CHINA TRANSLATED: Will You Save Your Girlfriend or Your Mother?

By James Yu, Epoch Times
September 30, 2015 Updated: November 23, 2015

Joke of the Week

“A Chinese official asked a North Korean official: ‘Why does North Korea dare to attack the United States, while we don’t?’ The North Korean replied: ‘Because neither our wealth nor our family is in the United States!'”

The next joke makes fun of a rumoured new regulation that would prevent Internet novels from featuring any romantic content. Internet users have been making fun of the idea online recently.

“After Snow White was poisoned by the witch, the seven dwarfs put her in a crystal coffin. One evening, they discovered a strange young man admiring Snow White’s lovely face through the glass. ‘She’s so lovely… I’d love to kiss her…’ The prince said. Then he stopped. ‘Oh, wait! I can’t kiss a young girl in a fairytale. Some Chinese official said it’s illegal!’ Snow White lay forever in peace, and her jealous stepmother became the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Best of Weibo

On Hillary Clinton calling Xi Jinping “shameless”

@hnjhj: “If one draws the line between oneself and dictators during the presidential election, and on the other hand stays close to them after being elected, such acts of Western politicians can also be called ‘shameless.'”

On Boeing receiving an order of 300 aircraft from China

@lianhuaxiaofo: “The United States: ‘Now China, let’s talk about your human rights conditions…’ China: ‘I want 100 aircraft.’ U.S.: ‘Hmmmm, indeed human rights are pretty good! Now regarding your aggressive military expansion in the South China Sea…’ China: ‘I want another 100 aircraft.’ U.S.: ‘Oh, that’s really not a problem! Now about your cyber attacks…’ China: ‘100 more, please.’ U.S.: ‘Sounds great! When should we sign the contract?'”

Who to Save?

In China’s 2015 National Judicial Examination Test, there is a question about the definition of an act of omission: “If a person saved his girlfriend ahead of his mother in a fire when he was able to save his mother first, is this an act of omission?” The answer turns out to be “Yes,” because “a person has legal duty to save his mother, while he only has moral duty to save his girlfriend.”

This became one of the hottest topics on China’s Internet over the past week. Some professionals wrote articles criticizing both the question and its answer. A lawyer said, “It’s certainly not wrong to save the mother first, but I can hardly convince myself that saving the girlfriend first is an act of omission… No matter whom one saves first, it’s human nature. If we force ourselves to make a choice between legal duty and moral duty, this encouraging us not to save anyone that doesn’t have a legal relationship with us.”

In China, a well-known joke is for a girl to ask her boyfriend: “If both your mother and I fall into water, whom will you save first?” Chinese netizens remarked that no couple will now flirt using this question, because the Chinese government has handed down the “correct” answer: “Save your mother first or you’ll be a criminal.”

Global Times Troll Disciplined 

Hu Xijin, editor-in-chief of Global Times, a tabloid under the People’s Daily, is notorious in China and abroad for his remarkable and often strange arguments used to defend whatever the new Communist Party line is. Just days ago, Hu joined the debate between Ren Zhiqiang, a real estate mogul, and the Communist Youth League over the benefits or problems with communism, even posting his video online arguing how “Communism has never disappointed our nation.” However, right afterwards a disciplinary action made by People’s Daily against Hu for “reimbursement for an unauthorized three-day trip” was exposed online. This drew gleeful mockery from Chinese netizens.

@Zhangming wrote: “Even such a politically-correct comrade like Hu could make mistakes of traveling with public funds. It’s time to stop the futile communism debate.”

Others connected the news with a widely-criticized Global Times article titled “Chinese people should understand and accept moderate-level corruption.” The quip “Now I see what ‘moderate-level’ corruption’ is” was widely forwarded.

Other netizens noted that Hu became an employee of People’s Daily in 1989, right after graduation, according to the disciplinary announcement. They wondered what role, if any, Hu had played in the 1989 Tiananmen Square protests, where hundreds of thousands of Chinese young people took to the streets to protest corruption.

—James Yu