In November, The Epoch Times hosted the second annual Forum on its editorial series Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party at Chinese Garden City Plaza Center, San Francisco. The host introduced about how the Nine Commentaries has been secretly distributed in China and triggered over 15 million Chinese to renounce from the Party within 2 years of its publication. Many participants spoke of their personal experiences and the persecution suffered by their family members. The following is a speech is given by Ms. Nie Du, one of the participants at the Forum.
Movements Launched by the Chinese Communist Regime Accompanied the First Half of my Life
I was born at the end of the Great Famine (1959~1961). People might think I am exaggerating when I say that I have been through "The Great Famine," "The Four Clean Ups Movement (1962~1964)" (also known as the socialist movement) and the "Cultural Revolution (1966~1976)" at such a young age. Therefore, instead I tell people that these communist movements have accompanied the first half of my life as well as those of my generation. I recall the details of my life and realize that what the CCP has brought me is fear and nothing else. Fear that cannot be erased!
Prior to 1949, my father, a student in the Beijing University, joined the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) under circumstances which of I am not aware. In 1950, he followed the CCP cadre to a provincial city in southwest China and worked as the head of local Communist Youth League Committee, Chief of the Industrial Bureau and municipal party committee secretary respectively. When he passed away at the age of 97, many acquaintances of his whom we don't recognize, elderly workers, cadres of still serving the party or retired, came to his funeral and paid their last respects to him. My father was a good man, a good father. However, the real father I have seen in my life is a father living in fear.
I Was Enveloped by my Father's Intense Fear
My father was labeled as a "class dissident with a history of anti-revolution" when I was two years old. He was sent to the rural area and put under restriction and reform-through-labor; in reality it was ideological brainwashing. I had no memory of him prior to the age of four or five. He did not return home until the beginning of the Cultural Revolution. He was not allowed to work because of his anti-revolutionary label. He was suffering and he was around 45 years old. He rarely talked. He would often stare into the dark night while smoking inferior cigarettes. I was too young to realize what's going on. I wanted to get close to him but his intense fear enveloped me. I could only watch him at a distance and wonder what happened.
My grandparents lived with us. Prior to 1949, my grandfather was a local gentleman observing Taoist rituals in his daily life. He was very knowledgeable. The postal service in many parts of our province was established with his assistance and participation. In 1950, the CCP came into power in our province and labeled him as the landlord because he owned some farming land which could barely sustain the living of a family with more than ten people.
I don't' know what happened before I was old enough to remember things but from my earliest memories, I recalled that our family and families living in the same yard were often intruded by the police, residents' committee and disciplinary investigators at midnight. The houses were searched and possessions confiscated. There was always someone in each and every family who was labeled an anti-revolutionary, spy, scab thief, or right wing etc. After the search, both my father and grandfather would be taken away. My mother, grandmother, aunts, brother and sister were all frightened and I just wanted to cry. However, my mother told me that I cannot cry and my sister also warned me not to cry.
Year after year, I gradually grew up and began to ask why. My mother was a member of the CCP at the age of 17. She will turn 80 years old next year. She was considered a bright and talented young lady. I could only remember that she worked very hard, but never praised the CCP. I have asked her many times, "Aren't you a communist?" She would always just turn her face away with a sigh and would not allow me to ask further. I could sense that she's afraid.
I Realized That my Teacher Was Trembling With Fear, Not Sadness
Actually, I saw that not only my family was living in fear, but also my teachers. My deepest memory was when Mao Zedong died in 1976. I was a junior in the junior high school. My school set up a mourning hall. The regime asked every class to make a wreath and put an elegiac couplet on it. My physics teacher, who was an old man, wrote calligraphy well, so he was asked to write the elegiac couplet. The contents of the couplet were copied from the newspaper. I helped him to press the paper when he was writing. I saw him trembling in the whole process of writing. In the beginning, I thought he was trembling in sadness for Mao's death. But after he finished writing the elegiac couplet, he asked me to read the elegiac couplets again and again to see whether he had written anything incorrectly. He himself also read it again and again.
I said, "Teacher, we have read it many times. It's just as the newspaper wrote." He replied, "There can be no mistakes. You don't understand it." Only then I realized that he trembling in fear, not because of sadness.
During the SARS Epidemic, the Hospital Staff Lied Together
After I graduated from university, I started to work. I thought that since reforms were introduced, things must be better. But no! I discovered I could not tell the truth. Because I was not a CCP member, I was often not careful about what I spoke. Sometimes I would accidentally speak out the truth and thus brought much trouble to my superiors (director of my department, CCP committee secretary of the hospital and director of the hospital), and myself.
For example, during the SARS epidemic, our hospital admitted the patients who had contracted SARS but the hospital was very strict about staff reporting on it. I personally experienced what was "unified lying." After seeing too much deception, people have become numbed to it. Afterwards, people cannot realize lies and crimes. For instance, the hospital staffs have become numb to deserted babies at the hospital gate crying terribly in the day and at night in the cold whether because one baby dies today and tomorrow there will be another one. What is life and what is death? In a democratic and free country like America, a country that respects humanity, it's hard for people to imagine that such things are happening, but in today's China, it is common.
One should not be surprised when reading a report about the death of a 3-year-old child in China because his grandfather did not have enough money to pay for medical fees and the hospital delayed treatment. When China's police, doctors and businessmen can cooperate to harvest people's organs for sale while they are alive, anything is possible.
My Father and Grandfather Were Good People Persecuted by the CCP
My father was labeled an anti-revolutionary by the CCP. But he was a good father at home. He protected his wife and children through silence. He was a good government official in society. He was a good person but was labelled an anti-revolutionary by the CCP. My grandfather was also a good person and he made efforts to be a better person. But the CCP robbed his land which was only sufficient to feed his family. For this small farm, he was called a "landlord," and was thus deprived of the right to live.
Most ironical of all, the so-called landlord and anti-revolutionary in the same family were both persecuted by the CCP. But they could not care or love each other or they would be charged with another crime. They had to be hostile toward each other, this is called drawing a clear line between one another. I remember once, my mother worked outside and only my grandfather and father were at home. Since they had not spoken to each other for many years, my father nearly died from appendicitis, yet my grandfather did not know. Several years later, my grandfather dead on his bed from asthma attack and was only discovered when my mother came home. Since then my mother has not forgiven my father for this.
The relationship between people in a family and a society should have been harmonious but under the CCP regime, the relationship between people is twisted. Fear makes people lose their rationale. Humanity is trampled and morals are destroyed.
Why Is It so Hard for the Chinese People to Have Basic Human Rights?
I am lucky. I left China in 2003. When I came overseas, I saw the conditions a society should have: democracy, freedom and peace. The Chinese people have made much efforts for democracy, freedom and peace for nearly a hundred years since the beginning of the last century. Many lives have been sacrificed but why is it so hard for us to have basic human rights, democracy, freedom and peace?
After reading the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party in 2004, I realized that the cause of all the hardship and misery suffered by the Chinese people is the CCP. Its evilness destroys human moral and conscience. It has twisted the social conditions of China and the relationship between people. It makes us lose mutual care and respect. What has the CCP given us? Fear, un-erasable fear!
After reading the Nine Commentaries, what I most urgently wanted to do was to let my family, friends, and colleagues read it. Only by recognizing the essence of the CCP and leaving it far behind can one be safe. By eliminating this evil party everyone will be rid of fear, come back to human moral and conscience and thus reach a normal social condition.
The New Year is coming. When you prepare New Year presents for your family, don't forget to give everyone a Nine Commentaries with your present. This is heaven's will: Safeguard yourself by quitting the three CCP organizations (the Chinese Communist Party, the Communist Youth League, and the Communist Young Pioneers).
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