The act of smiling is a fascinating thing. It’s interesting how it can come on naturally and even be hard to resist when we are happy. It can be produced consciously—sometimes authentically and sometimes not. It’s also intriguing how the act of smiling affects us emotionally. Our smiles are not just the result of our emotions, but they can be precipitators to our emotions as well. Smiling when you are down can have an uplifting effect.
Our smiles can also have a big affect on the world around us as well. When we smile at individuals from different ethnic groups, we may be helping to reduce negative racial attitudes. Research shows that when individuals from one ethnic group receive numerous smiles from individuals of another ethnic group, their attitudes about that ethnic group change and become more positive.
Furthermore, researcher Dale Jorgenson, an expert in the effects of smiling, has found that individuals who smile at others are more likely to receive smiles in return and the more smiles an individual receives, the better their mood. So when you smile at others, you’re not only making a difference in their day, you can make a difference in your own.
Today when I was walking home I chose to make a concerted effort to look directly at people and offer a smile. This is very different from my typical behavior of daydreaming or being consumed with my agenda, only slightly aware of those around me.
It Feels Good!
I have to tell you, it was such an amazing experience. It felt so good to smile at people and then see them brighten up and smile back. I even smiled at people who I definitely thought (because of class, social group, or attractiveness) would barely give me the time of day and many of them responded as though they were surprised I was smiling at them! And almost everyone I smiled at became cheerful as soon as they noticed my smile: men, women, old, and young. I even saw that people who appeared to be slightly down immediately changed their expression.
Sometimes we don’t smile at others because we are insecure, but I think smiling at others can actually increase our self-esteem. Think about the way that you typically walk down the street. Do you have your guard up and just look straight ahead? Do you notice those around you? If you are single and out at a library, cafe, or bookstore do you smile when you see an attractive man or woman, or do you pretend your not looking? Professionally, do you ever feel intimidated by and thus avoid others who may hold a higher position or who seem to have everything together? What about individuals from other classes?
I want to encourage you to smile at people today. Smile at that person you see at the subway stop every morning; smile at someone who looks like they're having a rough day; smile at someone who bugs you; smile at someone who seems too busy for you. You give a gift when you do. It may be just what that person needs. They might not choose to receive it or even respond, but you will probably find that far more will smile back than turn their heads. Now that’s a simple way to boost your mood, increase your confidence, and make someone else’s day.
Melissa King is a life and wellness coach in New York City. She works with women on weight loss, better success in dating, and career satisfaction. Visit her Webvsite at myheartdances.com or contact her at melissa@myheartdances.com.
