Gottlieb flew to Taipei, Taiwan this May to receive The 2009 Fervent Global Love of Lives Medal.
Gottlieb won the award for his book “Letters to Sam.” Sam is Gottleib’s autistic grandson. He wrote it to make a “more loving world” for Sam.
Gottlieb’s love for his grandson touched Chin-huar Chou, Founder of Chou Ta-kuan Cultural and Educational Foundation. The foundation is dedicated to his son who died of cancer at age 10. The boy wrote poems about hope, gratitude and love until his death in 1997.
Chou invited Gottlieb to Taiwan for the award.
The trip was exhausting. Gottleib uses a wheelchair.
The week was “a life-altering experience” for Gottlieb. “I love the country, it’s beautiful; but it’s the people, oh my God, the people, their generosity, respect and devotion,” he said.
A Taiwanese diplomat visited Gottlieb and asked if he had special needs for the trip. The same man greeted him at the airport when Gottlieb arrived in Taiwan.
He was welcomed “like a rock star” to a Catholic school for girls. Gottlieb said all the winners endured adversity yet devoted their lives to the greater good. Each one talked about the healing power of love and devotion.
Gottlieb was given a banner with calligraphy of the character for kindness. He said that was his experience of the Chinese people.
Gottlieb has been paralyzed from the chest down since a 1979 car accident. Despite 30 years of paralysis and a possible autoimmune disease, Gottlieb said he is not suffering.
“I am not really different from anyone else, maybe more awake, more thoughtful because of all my sufferings. I have become more of myself, more peaceful, with my life, my death, my insanity…But I am not suffering,” Gottlieb said.
I am not grateful to be ill, I am grateful to have friends, grateful to be in this room, talking to someone like you right now,” said Gottlieb.
He believes his therapy clients are not suffering either. “But they don’t know yet,” he added. He said it may take time for his patients to accept their lives. “It is all about faith, all about faith. It is about letting go.”
Gottlieb describes faith as “the belief that... something in our core is divine. And that the quieter we get, the less we strive, the more audible that divine voice was.”
In 1959 when he was 13 years old, his 7th grade teacher introduced him to a psychologist. He had a learning disorder and chronic depression. But his schoolmates liked him. They loved to tell him their secrets. “I loved the intimacy, and I prayed to God, my first prayer in my life, to make me a great psychologist.”
He failed college due to depression. He lived in the attic of someone who disliked Jews.
He knew happiness. He got married in 1969 and had 2 daughters.
Tragedy stuck. In 1975, his wife was diagnosed with melanoma. He took her to the hospital for chemotherapy and held her head when she threw up. He felt helpless when the cancer spread to her brain and blinded her.
In 1979, 3 months after his wife became blind, his disabling accident happened.
He said he suffered some post-traumatic stress disorder. “The means led to the end, and the end is I am a man who is grateful and loves easily. How did I get here, all of it, my parents, genes... breaking my neck, I would not dare to change anything (in my life).”
He felt afraid after the accident. The fear of death or of living the rest of his life dependent on his nurse made him return to work. He does not think of himself as being strong. He said he hates the word.
He no longer fears death. “I feel more alive when I feel death nearby.”
In a recent dream, the angel of death told Gottlieb “January.” He said if this January is the last one in his life, he is fine with it.
When “Letters to Sam” became popular, friends said his life would change. Gottlieb said he did not want his life to change with wealth. He gave nearly $100,000 to charities for children.
He hopes Sam will grow up in a world “more loving and open, compassionate, people feel secure enough to open their hearts to their neighbors.”
Here is an excerpt from “Letters to Sam:”
“Your vulnerability, Sam, along with your radiant smile, will likely bring out people who want to be good, who want to help, who feel generous.
In the animal kingdom, vulnerability can bring out aggression in other animals. This sometimes happens with humans also. But I have found that, instead, my vulnerability brings out the best in people. And I have discovered that when people are kind and helpful, it makes them happy.”
