Do you think about your weight and body shape a lot? Do you lament that your stomach is too pouchy or your thighs are too big? Or do you smile and say, "I love that girl!" or "Wow! That's me?"
Have you ever noticed that the way you feel about the way you look often affects the way you feel throughout your day?
If you're like me, when I put on a piece of clothing that looks terrific and makes me feel spectacular, I walk out my door with my head up. I interact with people more confidently and I notice people looking at me and smiling. I feel beautiful and so I act beautiful.
Now think about those days when you try to pull up a favorite pair of pants and they've gotten tight. Or you go shopping and nothing seems to fit right and everything makes you "feel fat." If you pay close attention, you may notice that a shift happens and that you feel a little less energy or a little less zeal for life on that day.
For some women this emotional effect happens every single day. For others, it only happens occasionally. But either way, I bet it's occurring more often than we realize because most women are dissatisfied with some aspect of their body. Here we are, intelligent (and more educated than ever) women who are productive members of society with valuable work that we are doing and important people in our lives that we care for and who care about us, but at the end of the day, we are consumed and changed by the perceived flaws in our bodies.
Reminiscing About Younger Years
The other day a client of mine reminisced about her younger years. She told me about the eating disorder that plagued her and how she didn't feel she was pretty. When she looks back on photos today, she recognizes just how pretty she was. She wishes that she had only known it then. This isn't the first time I've heard a story like this. Many women have similar experiences when they get older and they wish they could tell their younger selves to stop worrying so much. Unfortunately, going back in time is not an option ... however, changing how you view yourself today is. In another ten years, you won’t have to look back again and say, “I wish I knew how pretty I was then.”
Now I know there have been plenty of articles out there about the importance of loving your body. Usually, whether we like the idea the author presents or not, it goes in one ear or out the other. We might say, "Yes! That's a great idea. I am going to start loving my body ... um ... as soon as I lose this weight." And so the pattern continues. Enjoying your body gets put off until some possible later date that might come if you are one of the small percentages of people who succeed in changing their body and liking it afterwards. (For instance, statistics for people who lose weight and maintain the loss are low).
Life is Happening Now
Well, life is way too precious to wait for that. Life is happening now and we must not let our feelings about our body get in our way of us taking chances and living life the way we really want to live it.
Many women think that loving their body means having to let go of their weight loss efforts. I disagree. Lose weight because you love your body. Stop trying to lose weight because you hate your body. If it's not weight you want to lose, but muscle you want to tone, then be active because you love your body— again, not because you hate it. Wear an outfit that makes you feel great today. Stop waiting to do things that make you feel pretty. Decide you are beautiful now and attack life as a beautiful woman.
Decide that you are Beautiful
Yes, I said decide. So much of how we perceive our body happens in our minds. How else can you explain feeling skinny on Friday and then feeling fat on Saturday after you've had a decadent dessert? It's highly unlikely that you gained that much fat in less than 24 hours.
I fully believe that, as women, how we feel about our body affects the way we live our life. It may affect how we dress, whether or not we speak up, whether or not we make eye contact with that cute guy, and whether or not we participate in certain activities (swimming, sports, dancing, etc.).
You get one life and it's happening now. Don't waste time. You are an intelligent, amazing woman and the world deserves to experience you. Change the negative chatter in your head. Make positive comments about yourself. When you look in the mirror and catch yourself frowning, change that frown to a smile. Be your closest ally. Dress in a way that makes you feel good. Throw out clothes that don't fit. Stop punishing yourself because your thighs are too big—put your hands on your hips, look at yourself and say, "You are a beautiful woman and because you are beautiful I am going to treat you right by eating well and being active and I will do it today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, and ten years from now."
Melissa King is a life and wellness coach in New York City. She works with women on weight loss, better success in dating, and career satisfaction. Her Web site is www.myheartdances.com. Contact her at melissa@myheartdances.com.
